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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM where we instantly improve the lives for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can make informed decisions, have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
This is another episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED“ and in last week’s episode I answered another question from one of our readers
You can check out last week’s episode by clicking on the link here.
In this week’s episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED“, I want to answer another the next question from our client Robert, which are excerpts from email counselling and consulting sessions with me and the question this week is
My 68 year old mother is in ICU with gastric perforation and she’s not “waking up” after the surgery! Will she need a tracheostomy? (PART 18)
You can find previous questions from this series of questions answered here
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5 , PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16 and PART 17
Robert continues with his mother’s situation below
Hi Patrik,
I have unfortunate news.
The doctors discovered from the CT scan that the area where they had operated on the second time (intestines) had a perforation and that another part of the intestines was also damaged. The attending surgeon (the one that did both her prior surgeries) came into talk to us, even though she was off that day. Unfortunately, it was inoperable and irrecoverable.
The family discussed this and made the decision that although my mother fought a valiant fight, all things considered, it was best for her for us to let her go in peace. So, we collectively as a family made that decision.
My mother passed away a couple of hours ago. She was surrounded by her husband, all four of her kids, their spouses and her sister. We were all in the room with her for her final moments. She could not have gone more peacefully.
This is of course, a hard time for the family, but we are at peace that we supported her in her fight, and left no stone unturned.
I cannot thank you enough for all of your counsel, guidance — and most of all, your compassion. It has helped tremendously in ways that I cannot express.
I wish you all the best.
Regards,
Robert
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Hi Robert,
I’m very sorry to hear that your mother has passed away, my thoughts are with you and your family!
It’s good to hear that you and your family have made a decision that you all supported.
It’s even better to hear that you and the rest of your family were all there when your mother passed away and that it was a peaceful death.
Your mother has fought tremendously and I believe up to the point yesterday when the next complication/perforation set in it was a well worth fight.
Intensive Care is very unpredictable in positive and in negative terms and you never know what the outcome might be, but I believe putting your best foot forward is a worthwhile thing to do!
Related article/video
I also think that you and your family have left no stone unturned and I think that’s good to know for your own peace of mind.
I also felt that from what you were describing, you and your family weren’t dealing with an overtly negative Intensive Care team. This is often one of the biggest challenges we have when working with Clients in similar situations and we/they are often dealing with a very negative ICU team. I do believe they have been open and transparent with everything that’s been happening and that’s how it should be.
They would have also known at some point that you and your family are doing your own research and that you are equipped with the right questions!
Apart from some comments in the beginning about wanting to withdraw treatment, you haven’t mentioned any more negative comments from them. Therefore you could focus on your mother and her “best interest” and not on “fighting” the negativity of the team.
Related article/video:
Again, my thoughts are with you and your family and whilst this is a difficult time in your life, you and your family have done what you were supposed to do, to look for the best outcome for your mother.
And even with a final outcome, it was still the best outcome for your mother considering the circumstances.
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Having either witnessed or personally looked after many dying Patients in Intensive Care, I know by now that it’s OK when we die. Death is part of life and it’s OK. That’s one thing that I’ve learned over the nearly two decades working in Intensive Care.
And again, I can’t stress enough how important it is that not only did you make the decision as a family that her fight was not worth continuing any longer, it is also very important that you and the rest of your family were present when she passed away. It’ll help you tremendously to get closure when dealing with the loss of your mother.
It was literally an end of life situation on your terms, well done!
Most families in Intensive Care are not prepared to go at such great lengths than you did and therefore they have no bargaining power and they are poor negotiators!
You have left no stone unturned and you have had a lot of bargaining power because you sought help and you didn’t take “no” for an answer and you did your own research! The Intensive Care team knew that and they had to face up to it!
Therefore, you were able to make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence!
Wishing you and your family all the very best!
Warm Regards
Patrik
How can you become the best advocate for your critically ill loved one, make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence quickly, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
You get to that all important feeling of making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below!
In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to make informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care!
Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below! In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care! In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 mind blowing tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care (it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED episode and I’ll see you again in another update next week!
Make sure you also check out our “blog” section for more tips and strategies or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
Or you can call us! Find phone numbers on our contact tab.
Also check out our Ebook section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 counselling/consulting with me via Skype, over the phone or via email by clicking on the products tab!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!