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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we INSTANTLY improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making FAST, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
This is another episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” and in last week’s episode I answered another question from one of our readers and the question last week was
“My Mum has been in ICU for three weeks now and she is on ECMO for ARDS! Will she survive?”(PART 6)
You can check out last week’s question by clicking on the link here!
In this week’s episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” I want to answer another question from one of our readers and in this week Kim asks
“My Mum has been diagnosed with STOMACH CANCER and is in ICU ventilated. CAN I TAKE HER HOME on a ventilator?”
Hey Patrik,
thank you for your site. My mom is in Intensive Care in the US. We walked into the Emergency Room as she had shortness of breath and massive weight loss, we knew the cause because a few days before she had been diagnosed with stomach cancer from another hospital.
They took her into a floor and we talked to oncology and were planning to start chemotherapy.
Her shortness of breath landed her in the ICU and eventually she got intubated because they say she has pneumonia and probably the cancer has spread to her lungs but they can’t tell me that 100%.
They have tried to wean her over the last 7 days to no avail.
Now they are going to do a tracheostomy and we had dialysis today too because they say her kidneys are not working.
Also her liver blood tests are off and she is yellow.
I just want to get her off the ventilator or even on a home ventilator and get her the heck out of here.
Oncology and Palliative care keep trying to get me to stop treatments and I tell them no. I am here all the time and I have to watch these doctors and nurses like hawks.
I am hoping she will survive this stay so I can get her home.
Again thanks for the site,
Kim
Hi Kim,
thanks for reaching out and for making contact. Often a different perspective is needed in order to tackle the challenges at hand.
And first of all, I am very sorry to hear what you and your mother are going through. It sounds like you and your family are having a tough time.
In any case, here’s what you need to know in order to improve your and your mother’s situation:
From what you are describing you and your mother have two conflicting views from a medical point of view.
First, there’s the Intensive Care team who keeps to be pulling at all strings in order to get your mother out of Intensive Care alive.
On the other hand you’ve got the palliative care team and the oncology team who argue that treatment should be stopped.
Contradicting views between different medical and nursing teams in a hospital are quite common and I have written about this extensively in my FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report.
Family members of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care therefore are often caught between two worlds, as both teams often have different interests and every team argues that it’s “in the best interest” of the Patient.
What it ultimately boils down to is what you and your Family think is “in the best interest” for your mother and not what anybody else thinks.
Having said that you should certainly listen to both medical teams, take in their points of view and make your decision from there.
Here is however what you need to know from an Intensive Care perspective.
I understand that your mother has only been recently diagnosed with stomach cancer, therefore it may well be the right thing to do “whatever it takes” to get your mother out of Intensive Care alive.
If you and your family need time with your mother then this might be the way to go. If your mother has a real chance to recover, then this is the way to go.
However, you also need to look at why the Intensive Care team wants to go to such great lengths in treatment as to dialyse your mother, put a Tracheostomy in and treat the liver failure.
Does the Intensive Care team really believe they can improve your mother’s situation by going to such great lengths in treatment or are they treating your mother because they see your mother as someone who can occupy an expensive Intensive Care bed for a while and get some revenue coming through their doors, irrespective of the outcome?
Another question you should ask the Intensive Care team is whether your mother has been enrolled in a medical research study without your or your mother’s consent.
Most Intensive Care Units get Millions of Dollars $$$ through their doors by performing medical research on real Patients in ICU most of the time without them knowing. This is highly questionable from an ethical point of view. You therefore mustn’t be shy to bring this up. You don’t want your mother to be a guinea pig.
If the Intensive Care team is prepared to go to such great lengths in treatment, they either firmly believe that they can genuinely help your mother or if they don’t genuinely believe they can help your mother to improve her situation in the long term, you need to find out quickly. You don’t want to have your mother suffering unnecessarily for all the wrong reasons.
Next, I can totally relate to you wanting to take your mother home on a ventilator and I am a strong advocate for Home Care even for Intensive Care Patients and I will evaluate on that later.
Related article:
A five step BLUEPRINT for DYING WELL and with DIGNITY in Intensive Care!
Recommended resources:
In the meantime, with the Intensive Care team putting in a Tracheostomy and putting your mother on Dialysis I can shed more light on Tracheostomy and Dialysis by directing you to some related articles here(click on the links)
Next, you say that you are basically spending day and night with your mother in Intensive Care and I can resonate with you, however you need to look after yourself.
You have no idea at this stage how long this might go on and your mother needs you one way or another, however by you getting tired, by you getting little sleep, no rest and/or no proper nutrition you will be falling in a hole soon and you are not doing yourself or anybody else a favour.
Managing your time, managing your energy and the results you are getting by you managing the people around you are bigger leverage points rather than you spending day and night in Intensive Care. I have written about this as well here:
Your mother will need you when she is more alert and awake and in the meantime you need to rethink your strategies so that you don’t have to “watch the doctors and the nurses like hawks”.
In order for you to have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence you need to start asking the right questions, you need to start pro- actively managing the Intensive Care team and you can’t stay in ICU all the time.
Most Families of critically ill Patients compensate for their inability to manage the Intensive Care team by spending day and night in Intensive Care and burn themselves out in the process.
By the time they have to make some crucial decisions regarding the care of their loved one they make poor choices, because they are burned out and their emotions is what’s driving their choices.
Emotions can be a good and healthy sign, however when you are coming to the point that you need to make some CRUCIAL decisions regarding your mother’s future you want to have a clear head.
You won’t have a clear head if you spend day and night in Intensive Care!
Here is another article that might help
Be more selfish if your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care
Last but not least, you want to take your mother home on a ventilator.
Yes, I am all for home care even for ventilated Patients with Tracheostomy.
This is definitely the way to go for somebody who has shown that they can’t be weaned off a ventilator.
Given that your mother has just had the Tracheostomy it’s too early to look at going home as yet.
Give it a couple of more weeks and see what happens. Then you can reassess your options.
I know you are in the USA and in Australia for example, your mother would be able to go home with specialized home care services such as INTENSIVE CARE AT HOME. You can check out www.intensivecareathome.com.au
I don’t know whether similar specialized Intensive Home Care services are available in the US where you live.
However in the meantime you need to focus on you managing the Intensive Care team so that you can get the results that you want.
I hope that helps Kim.
Please let me know if you have any other questions.
I can also be available for 30 minutes for a chat via Skype, free of charge.
Thank you& Kind Regards
Patrik
How can you have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
You get to that all important feeling of PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below! In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below! In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care! In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 “killer” tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” and I’ll see you again in another update next week! Make sure you also check out our BLOG section for more tips and strategies or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
Also check out our Products section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 consulting!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!
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