Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have peace of mind, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
This is another episode of “your questions answered” and in last week’s episode I answered another question from our readers and the question last week was Part 6 of
You can check out the answer to last week’s question by clicking on the link here.
Today, Heather asks
MY PARTNER IS IN INTENSIVE CARE ON A VENTILATOR! THE INTENSIVE CARE TEAM WANTS TO DO A TRACHEOSTOMY AND I WANT TO HAVE HIM EXTUBATED! WHAT DO I DO? (PART7)
One day they filtered blood and pulled fluids and the second day they didn’t pull fluids just filtered blood and he was moved to the IMCU two days later. He has been moved to a long term acute care centre.
He has been weaned off of the ventilator his trache has been capped with the speaking valve for 2 days now. He can take small sips of water. He has been doing physical therapy but he has no muscle mass in the lower part of his body. They say it will take time to build his muscles back up.
The day after our last consulting session the ICU doctor came spoke to me he explained what all was going on and made me feel a lot better about everything.
I thanked him and told him I had been feeling like every one had a big secret and I was an intruder.
Two days later I came in to visit my partner and they wanted to do the dialysis again and I was giving up hope of his recovery.
I was so happy his brother was there and more positive than me at that point. The doctor came in and explained to us about the dialysis. He also hugged me and apologized to me he said I said something to him that hit very hard.
He said he has been seeing me everyday there and when I did thank him for talking and explaining things to me it made him realize that they had failed me in that situation.
He said yes they have many patients and all BUT he said they have time for all of that and a big portion of their time and their jobs is to take time for the patients families and he was truly sorry and urged everyone to work on that in the future and he gave me a hug and everything has gotten better since then. Even though we haven’t seen him again.
Many thanks for all your help!
I’m glad to hear that things have improved since we last spoke!
And yes, it’ll take time for your partners muscle mass to come back and it sounds that he’ll get there!
Keep pushing for that regular Physiotherapy!
Many critically ill Patients in Intensive Care go through a period of kidney failure in Intensive Care for a number of reasons and they often need temporary dialysis. And as you have correctly pointed out some days they remove fluid and other days the machine just filters the blood. It all depends on whether your partner has too many fluids on board or not enough.
In any case, I’m glad you’re spelling out what a lot of families in Intensive Care think and feel all the time!
Families in Intensive Care are so far outside of their comfort zone that open, transparent and timely communication is needed from the very start.
That’s often missing and that’s why Families in Intensive Care feel so helpless, frightened, vulnerable and stressed!
Especially during the many ups and downs and highs and lows Patients can go through while they are in Intensive Care, open, transparent and timely communication is so important and is yet often missing!
I can see how you must have felt when after the doctor spoke to you, you only found that your partner has been put back on the Dialysis machine!
It’s also a big issue that you felt like you’ve been an “intruder”.
No Family member in Intensive Care should ever feel like an “intruder”. What does that say about the communication style of the Intensive Care team?
Family members/ partners feel like an intruder?
Shame on any Intensive Care team who makes a family member/partner feel like that!
I’m very glad to hear though that you’ve stood your ground all the way through and that things are now slowly but surely getting better!
So give yourself a pad on the back for dealing with this massive “ONCE IN A LIFETIME” challenge successfully, by not giving up and by staying strong!
It’s also pivotal to stay positive whilst your loved one is going through their critical illness! And this is often easier said than done!
Not everybody can see the light at the end of the tunnel that we as health professionals in Intensive Care can often see first!
We have seen many situations over and over again and we can sometimes and certainly not always predict where things are going!
And the fact of the matter is that health professionals in Intensive Care are like “fish in water” and families in Intensive Care are like “fish out of water”!
I am glad though that at least one of the doctors acknowledged you and your concerns and I am surprised that he admitted that they had “failed you!”
That’s a courageous statement to make and it requires some courage and awareness!
Again the lack of acknowledgement of families in Intensive Care comes back to health professionals in Intensive Care being like “fish in water” and families in Intensive Care being like “fish out of water!”
The situation when having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care only gets easier and better when the Intensive Care team takes the time to explain things in detail!
They also must acknowledge the families deep seated and also unconscious fears, concerns and frustrations that inevitably come with having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care!
Please let me know if I can help you with anything else!
How can you become the best advocate for your critically ill loved one and how can you get peace of mind, control, power and influence quickly, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
You get to that all important feeling of PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below!
In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care!
Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below! In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care! In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 mind blowing tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
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- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s “your questions answered” and I’ll see you again in another episode next week!
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This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!