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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we INSTANTLY improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making FAST, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
This is another episode of YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED and in last week’s episode I answered another question from one of our readers and the question last week was
You can check out last week’s question here.
In this week’s episode of YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED I want to answer another question from one of our readers and in this week Yuri from New York asks
“My 80 year old father is in Intensive Care with Myeloma! The Intensive Care team HAS ASKED ME TO SIGN A DNR AND I REFUSED! What are MY OPTIONS?”
Yuri writes
Dear Patrick,
I have a question regarding my 80 year old dad with end stage multiple myeloma, who has developed difficulties breathing. They put him on oxygen but later told me that I should sign “DNR”(Do not resuscitate) order since they didn’t want to intubate him. I refused. Now he is in ICU intubated and they keep insisting to sign the “DNR”(Do not resuscitate order). They refused to treat his multiple myeloma about a month ago. Initially they told me to transfer him to hospice and now they said I should sign “DNR”. The ICU doctor says he has a fluid in his lungs and some lesions from the cancer. What are my options at this point?
Thanks,
Yuri
Dear Yuri,
thank you for making contact.
I am very sorry to hear what you and your Dad are going through.
As far as your question goes, you need to know the following.
First of all, good on you for standing your ground!
I can see that you are different already.
99% of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are intimidated by the “perceived authority” and by the “perceived power” of the Intensive Care team that they just do whatever they tell them!
Well done, for standing your ground and for being such a strong advocate for your father!
Your options as it relates to the Intensive Care team asking you to sign a “DNR”(Do not resuscitate order) are to simply not sign the “DNR” if you don’t want to or if you think it’s not in your father’s best interest!\
If they continue to keep pressure on you, just ask them their reasoning for the “DNR”.
Does the Intensive Care team need the bed that your father currently occupies for the next admission?
Do they think they won’t make any money $$$ by continuing treatment on your father?
Does your father not meet any medical research category and they therefore have no interest in treating him?
On the other hand, you have to be honest with yourself, your father and with your family as well.
What do you think are the benefits of continuing treatment for your father?
Multiple Myeloma is a terrible and horrible disease and Patients tend to suffer a lot, especially in Intensive Care.
Often, if Myeloma Patients are put on the ventilator with a breathing tube they tend to have difficulties getting off the ventilator because of their poor general condition.
That being said, Patients with Multiple Myeloma can certainly come off the ventilator, however it tends to be difficult.
The question is why did they refuse treatment for the Multiple Myeloma one month ago? Do you think it was justified or do you think there may have been any other reasons?
Also, what does your father want if he could make the decision himself? Have you discussed a “worst case scenario” with your father?
Furthermore, do you and your family need more time to come to terms with the situation? If so, you should certainly take your time and not sign a “DNR”.
Be mindful however that your father isn’t unnecessarily suffering.
Also, in order to find out what’s really going on, do the following.
If the Intensive Care team keeps pressuring you about signing the “DNR” ask them for their policy about the consent from Families for signing DNR’s.
They must have a policy and if you ask for it, they instantly know that you’ve done your own research and it’ll give you PEACE OF MIND, control power and influence! The policy will also show you whether they are TRANSPARENT or not!
Also, here are links to articles/ videos that will help you in your situation as it relates to DNR, “withdrawal of treatment” and also about how you can even better prepare for having PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence when dealing with the Intensive Care team, especially if they ask you for a more formal “Family meeting”:
Also, in case things turn sour and in case your father is approaching his end of life here are some helpful articles/ videos to effectively deal with end of life in Intensive Care
- What you need to do if your loved one is dying in Intensive Care(part one) –
- What you need to do if your loved one is dying in Intensive Care(part two) –
Other recommended resources:
I really hope that helps Yuri.
It sounds to me like you are trying to steer your own ship and you are trying to effectively manage the Intensive Care team! I can only encourage you to do so!
Make sure you act in your father’s best interest at all times and that may mean to let go as well, if you think this is the right thing to do and also when YOU and your family are ready!
This is your and your Family’s time and you want to have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence!
Please let me know if you have any other questions or if you get stuck.
I can also be available for a free 30 minute consultation via skype. My skype id is patrik.hutzel
Sincerely, your friend
Patrik Hutzel
How can you have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
You get to that all important feeling of PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below!
In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!
Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below! In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care! In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 “killer” tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” and I’ll see you again in another update next week! Make sure you also check out our BLOG section for more tips and strategies or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
Also check out our Products section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 consulting!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!
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