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Today, Ashley wants to know if something could have saved her dad in ICU after cardiac arrest who passed away. If you want to know the answer to that, stay tuned.

My name is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com with another quick tip for families in intensive care and I have another quick tip for families in intensive care. Ashley says, 

“Hi, Patrik.

My dad just went into cardiac arrest, out for 10 minutes and was saved, brought to the hospital, had another episode of another cardiac arrest. He was put into a coma, and he has been in intensive care. He’s not brain dead but does show signs of a stroke or previous strokes. They took him on, and off sedation  and he had seizures but seemed like he wanted to wake up but couldn’t. He’s 59. 

They found he was an organ donor, and pretty much the same as in one of your videos. Although because he was a donor, they pushed end of life, take him off life support and everything. Well, we tried, and he didn’t pass in the 2 hours. So, he was brought back to his room here for another 24 hours until he let go.

I just feel like his heart was so strong and his kidneys and liver were in great shape. I just don’t understand why we gave him medicine and let him go, like, was there any other choice?  

– Ashley.”

Ashley, I’m very sorry to hear what’s happened here. There’s always another choice, always another choice. I am not exaggerating when I’m saying to you that if you had come to me when this all happened, I argue we could have saved your dad’s life. We have saved many lives with our consulting and advocacy options. I’ll come to that in a minute. 

Why did you let go? Why did you consent to that? Why would anyone in their right mind consent to let their loved one go if they haven’t even had a second opinion? Are they pushing for end of life, which is what they’ve done in your situation? Yes, they have. But why did you give in?

One thing that families in intensive care need to learn, and they need to learn that very fast, is to take responsibility for outcomes. If you’re not taking responsibility for outcomes and you let people walk all over you, you let people walk all over you. That’s your choice. Not a good choice.

All I can say is what you needed in this situation is get a second opinion and basically just not agree to end of life. People can be kept alive on life support for days, weeks, months on end. If then your dad hadn’t woken up and he would have continued with the seizures and he wouldn’t have been improving, there’s plenty of time to talk about end of life. You decide when you want to start end of life discussions, not me, not intensive care teams. 

Intensive care teams are very good at creating narratives, negative narratives in particular. Why would you even let them? Why would you let them create a negative narrative? Why don’t you create a positive narrative by doing research, by getting a second opinion? 

If your dad was an organ donor, yes, they probably would have pushed harder. But at the end of the day, there might have been clinical reasons why he was dying. I don’t know, but why would you not have gotten a second opinion? You would have had us look at medical records, you would have had me talk to doctors and nurses and ask all the questions that you haven’t even considered asking but must be asked when you have a loved one critically ill in intensive care. Now, you’re looking for answers. Unfortunately, now it’s too late.

My question always is, where is the urgency to kill someone? Please explain that to me. Where is the urgency to kill someone? That’s the biggest question to me. Where’s the rush? There needs to be a rush and an urgency to try and keep someone alive. You need to turn this on its head.

Don’t let the intensive care team dictate the narrative to you because that’s what you’ve done. You let them dictate the narrative. Not a good idea. It’s so much better to look for consulting and advocacy while your loved one is alive and not afterwards look for answers when it’s too late. If your dad was not brain dead, he might have been brain damaged, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t live. You got to ask the right questions. 

The biggest challenge for families in intensive care is simply that they don’t know what they don’t know. They don’t know what to look for. They don’t know what questions to ask. They don’t know their rights, and they don’t know how to manage doctors and nurses in intensive care. That’s exactly what you’re dealing with. 

If he had medicine to let him go, that is euthanasia, that is hastening death. The definition of euthanasia is hastening death. Euthanasia is illegal. Euthanasia is illegal but you didn’t know, but now it’s too late. For anyone watching this, take this as a warning. Why would you start end of life care conversations if you don’t want to? I don’t take them pushing it as an excuse. You need to push back. You cannot control other people, but you are 100% in control on how you respond. 100% in control how you respond.

I have worked in critical care nursing for 25 years in 3 different countries where I worked as a nurse manager for over 5 years in intensive care. I’ve been consulting and advocating for families in intensive care since 2013 here at intensivecarehotline.com. I can very, very confidently say that we have saved many lives for our clients in intensive care because our advice is life changing, literally life changing. You can verify that we saved many lives when you look on our testimonial section at intensivecarehotline.com and when you look at our intensivecarehotline.com podcast section at intensivecarehotline.com where we’ve done plenty of client interviews who will vouch for what I’m saying here is accurate.

Like I said, our advice is absolutely life changing because you just don’t know what you don’t know. That’s why we have helped hundreds and hundreds of members and clients over the years all over the world to improve their lives instantly, to save their loved ones’ lives, to prolong life, to change outcomes with our consulting and advocacy. You can join a growing number of members and clients, and we can help you very fast.

That’s why I do one-on-one consulting and advocacy over the phone, Zoom, Skype, WhatsApp, whichever medium works best for you. I talk to you and your families directly. I talked to doctors and nurses directly. I handhold you through this once in a lifetime situation that you simply cannot afford to get wrong. When I talk to doctors and nurses directly on your behalf or with you, I ask all the questions that you have not even considered asking but must be asked when you have a loved one critically ill in intensive care. I also represent you in family meetings with intensive care teams. 

We also do medical record reviews in real time so that you can get a second opinion in real time. We also do medical record reviews after intensive care if you have unanswered questions, if you need closure, or if you are suspecting medical negligence.

All of that, you get at intensivecarehotline.com. where we also have a membership for families of critically ill patients in intensive care. You can become a member and get your questions answered there if you are a member in our membership, go to intensivecarehotline.com, click on the membership link, or if you go to intensivecaresupport.org directly. In the membership, you have access to me and my team, 24 hours a day, in the membership area and via email, and we answer all questions intensive care related. In the membership, you also have exclusive access to 21 e-books and 21 videos that I personally written and recorded. All of that will help you to make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, and influence, making sure your loved one gets best care and treatment, always.

All of that, you get at intensivecarehotline.com. Call us on one of the numbers on the top of our website or simply send us an email to [email protected] with your questions.

If you like my videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel for regular updates for families in intensive care, click the like button, click the notification bell, share this video with your friends and families, comment below what you want to see next, what questions and insights you have from this video.

I also do a weekly YouTube Live where I answer your questions live on a show. You will get notification for the YouTube live if you are a subscriber to my YouTube channel or if you are a subscriber to my intensivecarehotline.com email newsletter.

Thank you so much for watching.

This is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com and I will talk to you in a few days.

Take care for now.

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