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Quick Tip for Families in Intensive Care: Not Knowing If My Mom is Dying, I Don’t Want to Pull the Plug If She Has Chances of Surviving?

If you want to know if you should pull the plug on your mom when she’s critically ill in ICU, stay tuned! I’ve got news for you today what to do.

Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com with another quick tip for families in intensive care.

So, today I have an email from Brandon who says, “I don’t know if my mom is actually dying in ICU. I don’t want to “pull the plug” if she has any chances of surviving. Can you help?”

Thank you, Brandon, for sending in this question and I’m very sorry to hear about what your mom, and you, as a family, are going through at the moment.

So, here is what you need to know. First off, 90% of intensive care patients approximately survive. That’s 1 out of 10 not surviving and not leaving intensive care alive. So, doing your own research when you have a loved one critically ill in intensive care is incredibly important. If you don’t do that, you’re in for a rude awakening unfortunately. And then many families come back to us sometimes weeks, months, years later, and say, “Oh, if I had only known the statistics, if I had only known there’s something like a second opinion, if I had only known there’s help, I would have made different decisions.” So, that’s probably where you are at, at the moment.

Next, does your mom have an advanced care plan? I.e. does she have a living will where she says, “Hey, if I’m ever in ICU in a life-threatening situation, I want everything possible to be done.”

Next, the ICU team has probably been giving you all the negative talk and the doom and gloom, that’s one of the biggest complaints we are hearing here at intensivecarehotline.com. We have been consulting and advocating for families in intensive care since 2013 where we have saved many lives, and you can look that up on our testimonial section with our advocacy. So, don’t let the doom and gloom help you save your mom’s life because that’s what it is. Do your own research and form your own opinion. It’s critically important that you are forming your own opinion. It’s critically important that you do your own research from Day 1.

Next, you need to understand that intensive care teams have an agenda. Their agenda is to free up their beds, their agenda is to save money, their agenda is to create their own narrative; whereas you, your job is to create your narrative to save your mom’s life and you can do that. Again, we have done that many, many times with our consulting and advocacy by giving a second opinion, by looking at medical records and saying to you, “Hey, there’s no indication that your mom is dying.” Once again, keep in mind that 90% of intensive care patients approximately survive.

Next, keep in mind that there are massive staff shortages in ICU, whether it’s doctors, nurses, all around the world, because there’s no staff, once again, intensive care teams are under pressure to free up beds because they don’t have enough staff. It’s also not a good sign if intensive care units don’t have enough staff, it means it’s probably not a great place to work there which would make you think, is your mom getting best care and treatment if they’re short staffed and it’s potentially not a good place to work.

Next, in the U.S. in particular, there was a documentary last year from CBC where some of the research they’ve done says that in some hospitals in the U.S., that when patients go to hospice and go to end of life, some hospitals actually get a bonus payment, and they don’t even have to count those deceased patients in their mortality rate. Now, how is that? For a system that’s meant to help people, you could argue that’s corrupt. I will post the link below this video to that documentary, so I can back up what I’m saying.

Now, next, you need to ask, like I said, for a second opinion and we can help you with that second opinion here at intensivecarehotline.com. We do medical record reviews, and we can very quickly tell you what the story really is and whether your mom will survive or not. And if they’re telling you, your mom is not surviving, then we can put the right wrong and say no, your mom will survive if they do X, Y, and Z, which is what often happens.

When I talk to doctors and nurses directly, I get the truth out of them pretty quickly because I know what questions to ask. I will ask all the questions you haven’t even considered asking but must ask in situations like that. Also, you’re probably underestimating how resilient your mom is or any patient in intensive care for that matter. Patients in intensive care are very resilient, but that’s not what the intensive care team wants to tell you. They want to, once again, give you the doom and gloom and that might be how your opinion was formed that you may not want for your mom to survive.

Well, from my experience, very few patients that have survived intensive care don’t want to live, they all want to live. So, I think I have seen enough to guide you with this. You just haven’t seen it because you are in a once in a lifetime situation that you simply can’t afford to get wrong.

I have worked in critical care for nearly 25 years in three different countries where I worked as a nurse manager for over 5 years. I’ve been consulting and advocating for families in intensive care all around the world since 2013 here at intensivecarehotline.com. Once again, I can say, very confidently, that we have saved many lives with our consulting and advocacy. You can verify that on our testimonial section or on our podcast section where we’ve done many client interviews.

That is also why we created a membership for families of critically ill patients in intensive care and you can become a member of it if you go to intensivecarehotline.com if you click on the membership link or go to intensivecaresupport.org directly. In the membership, you have access to me and my team, 24 hours a day, in the membership area and via email, and we answer all questions intensive care related.

In the membership, you also have exclusive access to 21 eBooks and 21 videos that will help you to steer this incredibly difficult territory that is intensive care because you are in a once in a lifetime situation that you simply can’t afford to get wrong. All the information there will help you to make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, and influence, helping you to make sure your loved one gets best care and treatment.

I also offer one-on-one consulting and advocacy over the phone, Skype, Zoom, WhatsApp, whichever medium works best for you. I talk to you and your families directly and I handhold you through this process, making sure you are staying two steps ahead of the intensive care team so that they don’t stay two steps ahead of you.

Furthermore, I also talk to doctors and nurses directly making sure I ask all the questions that you haven’t even considered asking, once again, making sure you make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, and influence, making sure your loved one gets best care and treatment.

I also represent you in family meetings with intensive care teams.

We also offer medical record reviews in real time so that you can get a second opinion in real time. We also offer medical record reviews after intensive care if you have unanswered questions, if you need closure, or if you are suspecting medical negligence.

All of that you get at intensivecarehotline.com. Call us on one of the numbers on the top of our website or send an email to support@intensivecarehotline.com.

If you like my videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel for regular updates for families in intensive care. Click the like button, click the notification bell, comment below what you want to see next, what questions and insights you have, and share the video with your friends and families.

I also do a weekly YouTube live where I answer your questions live on the show and you get notification from the YouTube live if you are a subscriber to my YouTube channel or if you subscribe to our email newsletter at intensivecarehotline.com.

Thank you so much for watching.

This is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com and I will talk to you in a few days.

Take care for now.