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Quick Tip for Families in Intensive Care: Pressure from the ICU Team to Discontinue Care for My Dad!

Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com with another quick tip for families in intensive care.

So, when you go to our website intensivecarehotline.com and you opt in for your free instant impact report for families of critically ill patients in intensive care, or when you opt in for the blueprint to get peace of mind, control, power and influence for families of critically ill patients in intensive care at intensivecarehotline.com, we ask you for your email address because that’s how you can send your free instant impact report and your free mini video series, the blueprint for peace of mind, control, power, and influence for families of critically patients in intensive care.

We also ask you what is your biggest frustration, and we’re very grateful that most of you document there what is the biggest frustration right now when you have a loved one in intensive care, because that helps us to create better content because we know what your frustrations are.

Today’s quick tip is about the frustration that a subscriber put in this week and saying, “I get pressure from the intensive care team to withdraw care on my 88-year-old dad.”

Well, first thing that really stands out here and almost is like a kick in my gut, “pressure to withdraw care.” Well, I know what you mean when you say pressure to withdraw care, you mean pressure to withdraw treatment; however, they might have used those terms pressure to withdraw care. They might have used those terms, and when I say they, I’m talking about and referring to the intensive care team.

Now, here’s the first thing, nobody ever should withdraw care. That means they don’t care. There’s a massive difference between withdrawing treatment and withdrawing care. There’s a big, big difference. I argue one has nothing to do with the other. You can withdraw treatment and still care, but you can’t withdraw care and not care and don’t care, it’s clearly a sign they don’t care. Just by using that terminology, their care factor, I argue, is zero. So, terminology matters here, and it matters big time.

Now, like I said, I have heard this before where families come to us and they say, “Oh, ICU wants to withdraw care.” It’s really like a kick in my guts when I hear this even if let’s just say there is consensus in withdrawing treatment, you can still do that with much care. Much care for the patient, much care for the family, also much care for the staff involved. But because I know what you mean that they want to withdraw treatment, let me make this abundantly clear here.

So, if you are concerned about the pressure that you are receiving, well it’s just perceived pressure. You are responding to an outside response. It’s your choice whether you want to react to that or not. So, you need to control your action and your reaction. You can’t control other people, but you are 100% in control of how you react. I would argue that if they want to withdraw treatment, or even worse, withdraw care, you don’t react: (A) you don’t need to react and (B) I assume you are the power of attorney for your dad, nobody can force you to withdraw treatment. I have not seen anywhere that people can be forced to withdraw treatment without patient or family consent. I assume in this instance, it would be you giving the go-ahead, and it doesn’t sound to me like you are ready for that. You know what your dad wants, you know that your dad wants to live.

 

Life is sacred, and you want to preserve it at all costs and rightly so. So, some strategies here are: ask them for end-of-life care policy, their end-of-life care policy. Ask them or research the end-of-life care law in your jurisdiction. You will most likely find that withdrawing treatment without your consent or patient consent is illegal. Also, have a look at written articles about real versus perceived end-of-life situations. Very briefly, even though I’ve written extensively about it, and I’ve made videos about it, a real end-of-life situation is no amount of treatment, no fancy equipment, no surgery, no drugs, now nothing can save someone’s life.

A perceived end-of-life situation is we think your loved one is going to die. We think we don’t offer this, we don’t offer that treatment because we think your loved one is dying. Well, that’s a perception. As long as you haven’t tried all the options available, it is only a perceived end-of-life situation, not a real end-of-life situation.

So, be clear on what your dad’s situation is. Is it real, or is it perceived? Very important for you to find out and take action accordingly from that point onwards. Now, I hope that clarifies what you should do when you are under pressure to withdraw care, I would call them out on the terminology. I really think I would because it exposes them as potentially being careless. So, I hope that helps and that gives you an answer and gives you some strategies what to do next.

Now, because we get so many questions for families in intensive care, that’s why we created the membership for families of critically patients in intensive care at intensivecarehotline.com If you click on the membership link or if you go to intensivecaresupport.org directly. In the membership, you have access to me and my team, 24 hours a day, in the membership area and via email, and we answer all questions intensive care related. In the membership, you also have access to 21 videos, 21 eBooks that are specifically designed for families in intensive care that will help you to make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, and influence because that’s all you want in a situation like that.

So, on top of having access to me and my team, 24 hours a day, in the membership area and via email, where we answer all questions intensive care related. You also have eBooks and videos that are only accessible for members, available and very uniquely designed for families in intensive care to help you make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, and influence.

I have worked in critical care for nearly 25 years in three different countries where I also worked as a nurse manager in intensive care for over 5 years. I have been consulting and advocating for families in intensive care since 2013. I can say without any hint of exaggeration that we have saved lives for our clients in intensive care.

You can verify that by clicking on our testimonial section or by watching and listening to our podcast. Again, you will see there the client interviews that we have helped them to save their loved one’s lives.

That’s why I also offer one on one consulting and advocacy for families in intensive care over the phone, Skype, Zoom, WhatsApp, whichever medium works best for you. I talk to you and your families directly. I talk to doctors and nurses directly. I ask the questions that you haven’t even considered asking but must be asked because intensive care is such a complex field that you can only ask the right questions if you’ve got in depth and insider knowledge which I have after having worked in the industry for nearly 25 years. I make sure you make informed decisions, you have peace of mind, control, power, and influence; very important that you get that.

That’s why we also offer medical record reviews in real time so that you can get a second opinion in real time. We also offer medical record reviews after intensive care if you have unanswered questions, if you need closure, or if you are simply suspecting medical negligence.

I also represent you in family meetings with intensive care teams so that you have a strategy that you don’t get walked all over and that your loved one gets best care and treatment. I have been in hundreds of those family meetings, either when I worked in critical care or here with my clients.

All of that you get at intensivecarehotline.com. Call us on one of the numbers on the top of our website or simply send an email to [email protected].

If you like my videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel for regular updates for families in intensive care. Click the like button, click the notification bell, share the video with your friends and families, comment below what you want to see next, what questions and insights you have.

Thanks for watching.

This is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com and I will talk to you in a few days.

Take care for now.