Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM where we instantly improve the lives for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can make informed decisions, have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
This is another episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED“ and in last week’s episode I answered another question from our readers and the question last week was
You can check out last week’s episode by clicking on the link here.
In this week’s episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED“, I want to answer the next question from Bree, one of my clients, which are excerpts from email counselling and consulting sessions with me and the question this week is
My Mom had a cardiac arrest with a hypoxic brain injury! She’s not “waking up” and the doctors want to pull the plug! Help! (PART2)
The Neurologist says that my Mom’s CT of the brain shows dark spots, but apparently the brain is still active.
It still feels like the Doctors are rushing us to get her out of the hospital, but not alive!
They want to go to court and get a ruling that they can take my Mom off the ventilator against my will.
Why are they in such a rush?
The best move is to leave her in the hospital until she heals.
The Intensive Care doctors are rushing us to make a decision to unplug her ventilator. They are saying that she is dead. I feel an emptiness in my soul. She has not been well taken care of. It’s very sad.
How can I stop the doctors continue harassing us to unplug her?
And it is not true that she dead at all. The doctors want us believe that she is dead just to
unplug the ventilator. The Doctors said she maybe a vegetable. Oh dear. The Doctors are rushing us to do illegal stuff.
How can we stop them?
Thank you again for being a client and for using my 1:1 phone/Skype counselling and consulting service!
I don’t know if your mother can recover or not.
Given that you have mentioned that the CT of her brain is OK and her heart is fine too, there is a chance that she can improve. She will need time and presumably a tracheostomy and it sounds to me like neither the hospital nor some of your other siblings are prepared to give her the time and/or a tracheostomy.
I could clearly help you guide you through this if you were the sole decision maker but it sounds to me like there is no agreement amongst your siblings, which makes it very difficult.
If you were the sole decision maker and the sole medical power of attorney and you would have to convince the hospital to give your mother time, you would have much higher chances to get what you want for your mother!
I’m specialised in helping families in Intensive Care get what they want if they are the decision makers or medical power of attorney for their loved one.
Also, if I was you, I would avoid the court for now until you and your family are clear for what you exactly want for your mother. If you and your siblings are unclear or in disagreement of what you want, there is a very high chance the hospital will get their way.
Therefore, get alignment first with your siblings of what you want for your mother!
- THE 5 THINGS FAMILIES DO WHO HAVE PEACE OF MIND, ARE IN CONTROL, FEEL POWERFUL AND INFLUENCE DECISION MAKING FAST, WHILST YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!
I can only imagine how much pain and suffering you are going through given that you have now watched your Mum going through this for the last week.
I would never promise to you or to any other Client that I can heal your mother or that I can save your mother’s life, that is way beyond my skills and expertise.
What I can help you with is to maximise the chances of a positive outcome and I can help you dealing with this overwhelming situation. I can only imagine how vulnerable you must feel by not being able to help your mother.
- 5 POWERFUL THINGS YOU NEED TO DO IF THE INTENSIVE CARE TEAM IS NEGATIVE WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!
From what you have shared with me thus far, it looks like the hospital has almost given up on her. I see this all the time with my Clients and that’s when I can usually help them the most. By giving my clients perspective and by working towards a positive outcome.
I have nearly 20 years experience as an Intensive Care Nurse and I know why ICU’s present certain conditions a certain way and I know why they are being overtly negative. They are not sharing with you what’s really possible and they don’t want to give your mother the time to get to a meaningful recovery or get to a meaningful end of life situation.
With all my ICU experience also comes experience working with long-term, chronically ill and often ventilated ICU Patients in the community. I run my own nursing service INTENSIVE CARE AT HOME and we are looking after long-term chronically ill and often long-term ventilated Patients in the community that would otherwise be long-term Patients in Intensive Care.
Some of the work we are doing is palliative care in the community as well.
Hospitals and ICU’s often don’t consider those options for a number of reasons, but I believe I have enough experience and insights in getting the best outcomes for your mother.
I and my team are often acting as Patient and family advocates and we can do that because we have lots of experience and we can interpret and evaluate clinical information quickly and we can put it in the context of what’s really happening. For example, looking at your mother’s case closer, I can tell you very quickly the doctors are not doing what they are supposed to be doing and also what they are trying to hide from you.
From my perspective, there are different scenarios of what a positive outlook may look like
- Maximise therapy and treatment options to give your mother the best chance of a meaningful recovery, especially in light of the fact that the hospital seems to be giving up on her. This includes doing a tracheostomy so she can recover in her own time
- Give your mother more time to prove that she can live with her current condition and take measured steps towards improvement
- Guiding you through taking measured steps towards improving your mother’s situation and make recommendations to the hospital/treating specialists
- Helping you with finding suitable and appropriate facilities for your mother, I.e. Rehabilitation, home care like INTENSIVE CARE AT HOME etc…
- a positive outcome might also be that if your mother is approaching her end of life that you and your family can make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power and influence. Therefore a positive outcome might be to have an end of life situation on your terms, I.e. considering options like INTENSIVE CARE AT HOME, hospice etc… and also establishing time frames that work for you. This can often be done in end of life situations with the right skills, knowledge and expertise. As you know by now the hospital has already been pushing you towards a “withdrawal of treatment” in a time frame that doesn’t work for you and your family. I can help you achieve end of life situations on your terms, which is extremely important in grief and loss situations
- THE 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF THE MEDICAL TEAM IN INTENSIVE CARE WANTS TO“LIMIT TREATMENT”, WANTS TO “WITHDRAW TREATMENT”, “WITHDRAW LIFE SUPPORT” OR WANTS TO ISSUE A “DNR” (DO NOT RESUSCITATE) OR “NFR” (NOT FOR RESUSCITATION) ORDER FOR YOUR CRITICALLY ILL LOVED ONE!
- a positive outcome might also be to do bereavement counselling for you and your family so that you can deal with this challenge effectively. I do a lot of bereavement counselling as well and in fact, many of my clients engage my services during time of grief and loss, when it might be considered to be “too late” and yet I know that I can help them because I have counselled many families in ICU through loss and grief
- Therefore I can help you with strategies to deal with this massive challenge
I can provide you the professional guidance you need during this “once in a lifetime” situation. I know that this situation can take on any direction and therefore it’s a matter of looking at what a positive outcome will look like, no matter how the situation unfolds.
I don’t have a crystal ball for the future, but I do know the different directions this situation can take and it’s a matter of us working on a positive outcome no matter which direction this is going.
Also, I really don’t like that the doctors are using the term “vegetable” for your mother. I do think this is highly inappropriate.
A “vegetable” is not the word to use to describe a human being.
A more appropriate term is to use “brain damage”.
It’s also inappropriate and unprofessional to say that your mother is “dead”. Again you know that’s not true and you know it’s inappropriate of them to say it.
The words they are using is helping them to position your Mom’s diagnosis, her prognosis as well as her care and her treatment.
Your challenge is to position your mother’s diagnosis, her prognosis as well as her care and her treatment so that she can get a chance to live and get out of Intensive Care alive.
How can you become the best advocate for your critically ill loved one, make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence quickly, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
You get to that all important feeling of making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below!
In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to make informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care!
Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below! In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care! In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 mind blowing tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care (it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED episode and I’ll see you again in another update next week!
Or you can call us! Find phone numbers on our contact tab.
Also check out our Ebook section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 counselling/consulting with me via Skype, over the phone or via email by clicking on the products tab!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!
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