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“They want to have us stop treatment for my 84-year-old dad with hypoxic brain injury due to cardiac arrest. What should I do?”, writes Shane in an email.

My name is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com and I have another quick tip for families in intensive care today.

So, Shane, it’s a great question. I’m very sorry to hear about your 84-year-old dad’s situation in ICU after cardiac arrest and hypoxic brain injury. Now, it sounds to me like this situation is very fresh. You haven’t shared how many days in ICU, how many weeks, but it sounds to me like this is very fresh.

So, one of the first questions you need to ask in a situation like that is, what would your dad want? That’s one of the first questions you need to ask. Even more detail is there potentially an advanced care plan? Is there an advanced care plan? Has he documented or ever expressed with you what he would want in a situation like that?

The next question you need to ask is, is this a real or a perceived end-of-life situation? So, what do I mean by that? I’ve made countless of videos over the years about what is a real and what is a perceived end of life situation, but I’ll break this down very quickly for you.

A real end of life situation in intensive care is that no treatment, no surgery, no fancy equipment, no medications, no nothing will save you loved one’s life, bottom line. Perceived end of life situation is that there’s a perception that it might be end of life. That’s it. It’s a perception.

Then, you need to determine whether you agree with that perception, or you don’t. Get a second opinion like we give you here at intensivecarehotline.com. Then, you can determine your next steps from there.

But with your question in and of itself, it doesn’t sound to me like you are certain that you want to move your dad towards the end of life. High chance your dad is ventilated with a breathing tube or with a tracheostomy, in a situation like that, it’s a very high chance for that. There’s a very high chance the intensive care team is giving you the doom and gloom spiel, the negativity.

I have worked in critical care nursing for 25 years in three different countries where I worked as a nurse manager for over 5 years, and I’ve been consulting and advocating for families in intensive care all around the world since 2013 here at intensivecarehotline.com.

I can confidently, very confidently say that we have saved many lives with our consulting advocacy. We have educated many families in regard to the difference between real and perceived end of life situations. And whenever there’s a perceived end of life situation, there’s a very high chance your loved one is actually going to survive, very high chance. Approximately 90% of intensive care patients actually survive, that means the odds are in your loved one’s favor. 

You can also verify what I’m saying that we saved many lives in intensive care on our testimonial section at intensivecarehotline.com, click on our testimonial section or you can watch and listen to our intensivecarehotline.com podcast where we’ve done some client interviews, including some ex-ICU patients who have been told they won’t survive and they were in a perceived end of life situation, not in a real end of life situation.

Now, next, Shane, no one and I mean, no one can force you to agree to a withdrawal of treatment. ICUs are very good to pretend that they can do whatever they want. They’re very good at that until you challenge them and then you go and see them backpaddle pretty quickly. So, do not be intimidated.

The biggest challenge for families in intensive care is simply that they don’t know what they don’t know.  They don’t know what to look for. They don’t know what questions to ask. They don’t know their rights and they don’t know how to manage doctors and nurses in intensive care, and that’s your challenge. But you need to start managing them, so they don’t start managing you.

Next, what’s the hurry to kill someone in ICU? Where is the urgency? Please explain that to me. Please explain to me where’s the urgency to kill someone. Why is there not ample time to see where this is going?

The ICU operates on artificial timelines that may or may not work in your dad’s favor. You need to extend those timelines with advocacy and once again, we can help you with that big time. Don’t let anyone pressure you to kill your dad because that’s what it is. You need time to get all the right answers that you need for this situation.

Other question is, have you spoken to a neurologist? Have you spoken to a cardiologist? Are they involved in your dad’s care? What do they have to say? Or is it simply a matter of ICU wanting to empty the ICU bed as quickly as possible while letting your dad pass away. Get second opinions, which we can give you, but also talk to the neurologist, talk to the cardiologist, and see what they have to say.

Also, have a think about what quality of life would be acceptable for you or for your dad if he was to survive? Have a think about that because he might be stuck in ICU there for a while and you may see no improvement for a while and then eventually, he might improve. Only time will tell.

Lastly, make decisions today that you don’t regret in 12 months’ time. So, what I mean by that is, at the moment, it’s a highly charged situation, you’re probably a little bit emotional, don’t make emotional decisions. Make rational decisions and think about how will you react in 12 months’ time if you make the wrong decision today. Time will often give you all the answers that you will need, but don’t rush into an end-of-life situation because you know the outcome. If you don’t give in, if you don’t agree to end of life, you don’t know the outcome, but you’re giving your dad a real change. Once again, there’s plenty of time to talk about end of life if it’s not improving plenty of time.

So, we have helped hundreds of members and clients over the years, which is why we created a membership for families of critically ill patients in intensive care. You can become a member if you go to intensivecarehotline.com, if you click on the membership, or go if you go to intensivecaresupport.org directly. In the membership, you have access to me and my team, 24 hours a day, in the membership area and via email and we answer all questions, intensive care related.

You also have exclusive access to 21 e-books and 21 videos that I have personally written and recorded. All of that will help you to make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, and influence so that your loved one gets best care treatment always.

I also do one-on-one consulting and advocacy over the phone, Zoom, Skype, WhatsApp, whichever medium works best for you. I talk to you and your families directly. I handhold you through this once in a lifetime situation that you simply cannot afford to get wrong. I also talk to doctors and nurses directly on your behalf or with you. When I talk to doctors and nurses directly, I ask all the questions that you haven’t even considered asking but must be asked when you have a loved one, critically ill in intensive care. I also represent you in family meetings with intensive care teams.

We also do medical record reviews in real time. We also do medical record reviews after intensive care if you have unanswered questions, if you need closure, or if you are suspecting a medical negligence.

All of that, you get at intensivecarehotline.com. Call us on one of the numbers on the top of our website or simply send us an email to [email protected] with your questions.

If you like my videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel for regular updates for families in intensive care, click the like button, click the notification bell, comment below what you want to see next, what questions and insights you have from this video.

I also do a weekly YouTube live where I answer your questions live on a show. You will get notification for the YouTube live if you are a subscriber to my YouTube channel or if you are a subscriber to my email newsletter at [email protected].

Thank you so much for watching.

This is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com and I will talk to you in a few days.

Take care for now.

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