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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com with another quick tip for families in intensive care.

So today, I actually want to talk about how to turn an impossible situation around when you have a loved one critically ill in intensive care.

So, let me start with a quote today. The quote comes from Anthony Greenbank from The Book of Survival, and he says, “To live through an impossible situation, you don’t need to have the reflexes of a Grand Prix driver, the muscles of a Hercules, the mind of an Einstein. You simply need to know what to do.”

This couldn’t be further from the truth when you have a loved one critically ill in intensive care, so let me explain in more detail.

So, I am a critical care nurse by background. I have worked in critical care nursing for nearly 25 years in three different countries where I worked as a nurse manager for over 5 years. I’ve been consulting and advocating for families in intensive care since 2013 here at intensivecarehotline.com. I can very confidently and without any hint of exaggeration say that we have saved many lives with our consulting advocacy. You can verify that on our testimonial section at intensivecarehotline.com or you can verify it on our podcast section at intensivecarehotline.com where we’ve done client interviews.

So, what do I mean by an impossible situation? We have families in intensive care come to us every week, sometimes daily, who say, “Hey, Patrik. The intensive care team has told us tomorrow at 3:00, they’re going to withdraw life support on my loved one and they’re going to die. What should I do?”

Well, what we should do in a situation like that is to turn the seemingly impossible situation around and we’ve done it many times. Again, you can look that up on our testimonial section or you can look it up on our podcast section with client interviews that I’ve done.

So, what do we do in those situations? Well, we simply know what to do, that makes us different from anybody else who’s out there because we simply know what to do. That comes down to my knowledge about intensive care, of course. I’ve worked in the industry for nearly 25 years, I know the industry inside out, I know all the moving pieces, but I also know about patients’ rights. Patients and family rights, I should say, that’s how we turn those impossible situations around.

I’ll give you one example, and this is one of many examples. I remember a few years ago, I was talking to a client. The client was saying, “Hey, tomorrow at 3:00, they told us, ‘We’re going to withdraw life support on your dad and your dad will die.’” They just stated it. As a matter of fact, that’s like executing someone. I said to the client, “Well, let’s get on the phone with the doctors and let’s turn this what they perceived was an impossible situation around,” and I did. Just by talking to the doctors and saying, “Well, if you take this man off life support tomorrow, that could be perceived as murder. In my books, that is murder. I’m not going to mind my words here because that’s what it is.”

You have to consider one thing here, end of life situations and end of life decision making in intensive care do not happen in a vacuum. Please stop believing that the doctors can do whatever they want. They’re very good at pretending that they can do whatever they want, but please stop believing that they can just do whatever they want when it comes to life or death. You need to exercise your rights, you need to educate yourself, you need to do your own research and then you will find gold nuggets pretty quickly because then you realize, “Well, they can’t just do whatever they want.” Most of our clients are in the U.S., U.K., Australia, in any jurisdiction, really, they can’t just do whatever they want. They can’t just take someone off life support without your or your family members’ permission.

Most patients in ICU are unconscious. They can’t make their own decisions. They can’t speak for themselves, which is why your advocacy, and our advocacy is so important. ICUs need to empty ICU beds pretty quickly because there’s so much demand on ICU beds. There’s so much demand on ICU staff, whether it’s doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, and the list goes on, that they’re not mucking around often, and they tell you as a family, “Oh, well, it’s ‘in your best interest.’”

I have yet to find out why killing someone is in someone’s best interest unless they have an advanced care plan that says, “Look, I don’t want to be in ICU.” That’s a completely different story, but very few patients have an advanced care plan. So why would you then kill someone when there’s no advanced care plan? Why would you not continue trying?

Many ICU teams now try and play God, and they say, “Well, we decide who’s going to live and die.” That is absurd in my eyes. Doctors and nurses, from my perspective, being a critical care nurse, we went into this profession to help people, not to kill people. But in any case, what you might perceive as an impossible situation is actually easy to turn around. You don’t need to go to the court, or you don’t need a lawyer. We often know better what to do in those situations than the lawyers. The lawyers are scared and they don’t have all the insider knowledge that we have as clinicians.

I have a team working with me that helps me with achieving those goals for our clients. But I think the quote, from Anthony Greenbank really says it all. I want to read out the quote again because it’s so telling, “To live through an impossible situation, you don’t need to have the reflexes of a Grand Prix driver, the muscles of a Hercules, the mind of an Einstein. You simply need to know what to do.”

How did I know what to do? Well, again, when I worked in ICU at the bedside where I looked probably after thousands of critically ill patients and their families, I felt challenged over the years where I was asked, “Well, tomorrow at 3:00, we’re going to take off life support.” I walk into a shift, and I was told, “Well, now at 10:00, you’re going to take this patient off life support,” and patients and families did not agree to that. I knew that, so I refused. I was threatened by employers at the time, “Well, you’re going to be performance managed.” Well, I said, “Performance managed? For keeping people alive?” Nobody ever performance-managed me for that because they had no leverage. I simply knew what to do. I simply knew about patient and family rights, but also knew about my rights. As a critical care nurse, no one can force you to kill someone against your will.

So, you really have to think about this, because you’re carried away by so much emotion when you have a loved one in intensive care, that you need to start thinking clearly.  A lot of families in intensive care stop thinking clearly, they’re so overwhelmed and they’re so intimidated by this perceived power from the intensive care. But that’s just what it is, it is perceived power, it’s not real.

The other question that I always have for intensive care teams when we talk to intensive care teams directly, what’s the rush or the urgency killing someone? Please tell me. Well, the rush is to empty ICU beds, that’s the rush, and not the family’s choice and not deal with highly emotional families. That’s what it is because that’s a skill in and of itself to deal with highly emotional families, what I refer to is trauma informed care. Give people a choice, talk to them. Even if someone is dying, give them a choice how they’re going to die. Many ICUs just walk all over people and try to push an end-of-life situation, a one size fits all onto them, but end-of-life is not a one size fits all.

The other thing that you need to become very clear on is, is your loved one in a real or in a perceived end-of-life situation. So, what I mean by that is, a real end-of-life situation is, nothing, no treatment, no surgery, no medications, no equipment, nothing will save your loved one’s life, that is a real end-of-life situation. Most end-of-life situations in intensive care are actually perceived end-of-life situations. There’s a perception, there’s no guarantee, and that means the odds are in your loved one’s favor because approximately 90% of intensive care patients actually survive. So, if 90% of intensive care patients survive approximately, the odds are in your loved one’s favor. So, do not get carried away by emotion, be rational, use common sense, and simply know what to do. If you don’t know what to do, reach out to us here at intensivecarehotline.com.

I hope that’s some words of encouragement for you today if you have a loved one critically ill in intensive care.

That’s one of the many reasons why we have created a membership for families of critically ill patients in intensive care. Because we’re getting so many questions, we want to help as many people as possible and you can become a member if you go to intensivecarehotline.com if you click on the membership link or if you go to intensivecaresupport.org directly. In the membership, you have access to me and my team, 24 hours a day, in a membership area and via email, and we answer all questions intensive care related. In the membership, you also have exclusive access to 21 eBooks and 21 videos that I have personally written and recorded, sharing all my decades worth of ICU experience, helping you to make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, and influence, making sure you can influence decision making fast when you have a loved one critically ill in intensive care.

I also do one-on-one consulting and advocacy over the phone, Zoom, WhatsApp, Skype, whichever medium works best for you. I talk to you and your families directly. I handhold you through this once-in-a-lifetime situation that you simply can’t afford to get wrong. I also talk to doctors and nurses directly and then I ask all the questions to them that you haven’t even considered asking but must be asked when you have a loved one critically ill in intensive care.

I also represent you in family meetings with intensive care teams, turning those seemingly impossible situations around in your favor.

We also do medical record reviews in real-time so that you can get a second opinion in real-time. We also review medical records after intensive care if you have unanswered questions, if you need closure, or if you suspect medical negligence.

All of that you get at intensivecarehotline.com. Call us on one of the numbers on the top of our website or send us an email to [email protected] with your questions.

If you like my videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel  for regular updates for families in intensive care. Click the like button, click the notification bell, comment below what you want to see next, what questions and insights you have, and share the video with your friends and families.

I also do a weekly YouTube live where I answer your questions live on the show and you will get notification for the YouTube live if you are a subscriber to my YouTube channel, or if you are a subscriber to my email newsletter at intensivecarehotline.com.

Thank you so much for watching.

This is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com and I will talk to you in a few days.

Take care for now.

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