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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
In last week’s blog I’ve shown you
You can read, watch or listen to last week’s update here.
In this week’s blog I want to show you
“How to get peace of mind, more control, more power and influence if your critically ill loved one is dying in Intensive Care!”
Today, I want to talk about a topic that most people think it’s difficult to talk about and a lot of people shy away from talking about it in the first place. For most people it’s very distressing, very disturbing, hard to face, overwhelming, frustrating and talking about the topic of death of a loved one means we need to face our own vulnerability and often our own mortality.
Let’s look at the good news as well
Let’s start with the good news though. The good news is that death is part of life and we need to celebrate both occasions, life and death. We also need to celebrate birth and death. To be here on this planet alive is a miracle after all. The sooner we accept and also respect that death is part of life, the sooner we all have a chance to have peace of mind, more control, power and influence in those situations!
The sooner we realize that death is part of life the easier it gets for us to accept that we are all mortal and that we all inevitably go in the same direction.
That doesn’t mean that when dealing with the inevitable such as when we are faced with the death of a loved one in Intensive Care that we need to “celebrate” the occasion. However by looking at the situation differently and by changing the things that you can change in such a challenging situation you can achieve peace of mind in this often “once in a lifetime” experience.
The tension, the drama, the discussions and the fight for life
Most end of life situations in Intensive Care involve a fair amount of tension, drama, discussions and fighting for and holding on to life.
And that’s good news. We don’t want to waste a precious life and we don’t want to stop or limit treatment on someone who has a chance to live.
However, what about the situations where death of your critically ill loved one is inevitable and where death is imminent?
That’s a great question to ask and first of all let’s establish that generally speaking 99% of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive who are dealing with an end of life situation of their loved one feel like they have no control, no power and no influence, let alone peace of mind!
Those Families feel like the very life of their critically ill loved one is slipping through their fingers and there is nothing they can do about it. Those Families feel overwhelmed, frustrated and they very rarely ask the most important question in those often “once in lifetime” situations, which is “How can I have peace of mind, more control, more power and more influence in an end of life situation?”
It’s a unique and a “once in a lifetime” situation
At the end of the day the end of life situation that you and your Family are dealing with is unique and is also a “once in lifetime” situation. You don’t want to get it wrong and you don’t want to leave the end of life situation and the death of your critically ill loved one in Intensive Care with a bitter taste in your mouth and without peace of mind. You also don’t want to make the wrong decisions and you certainly don’t want to be at the mercy of the Intensive Care team.
The reality and the fact of the matter is that if you and your Family have been told that your critically ill loved one is going to die, your world is falling apart and you feel once again without power, without control and without any influence whatsoever. Peace of mind is not even on your radar…
Before I go on about “How you can have more control, power, influence and peace of mind in an end of life situation” I hope that you and your Family have done your own independent research and you also have made up your own mind whether the Intensive Care team is really telling you the truth about whether death is the only perceived option for your critically ill loved one and that there is nothing else that the Intensive Care team or you and your Family can do.
If you are unclear, confused or in doubt whether the Intensive Care team is telling you the truth check out these articles here so that you can gather more information, wisdom and insight and also gain more control, power and influence in your challenging and difficult situation. The reality is that the Intensive Care team may not have told you the truth and they may simply press forward with their agenda by simply telling you that your critically ill loved one is going to die.
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Why would the Intensive Care team have an agenda?
I’m glad you’ve asked. There are so many things happening “behind the scenes” in Intensive Care that you simply have no idea about and it’s critical that you quickly educate yourself about what’s happening “behind the scenes” in Intensive Care. Because the Intensive Care team may simply position your critically ill loved one’s prognosis and diagnosis depending on what’s happening “behind the scenes” and also depending on their interests and those interests may not necessarily depend on the clinical facts and they may depend more on things like the financial interests, research interests, bed status and bed pressures in Intensive Care as well as the internal politics, power play, the intrigue and the psychology in Intensive Care.
In order to do your own research and in order to get that critical “behind the scenes” view and insights you have certainly come to the right place at INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM
Check out our FREE articles on our blog and on our “your questions answered” section for tips, strategies and for what’s happening “behind the scenes”! Those sections will help you to make up your own mind, whilst looking “behind the scenes” in Intensive Care.
If you have come to the conclusion that your critically ill loved one is inevitably dying, you now do want to have peace of mind, control, power and influence, because you and your Family should be directing and orchestrating the end of life situation. Most Intensive Care Units however don’t want to give you control, power and influence and they don’t want you to interfere in their decision making process even in an end of life situation. After all the Intensive Care team knows best…
Never assume that the Intensive Care team “knows what’s best”
The unfortunate reality is that I have seen far too many end- of life situations in Intensive Care, where an end of life situation has been called far too prematurely by the Intensive Care team and where Families haven’t been told the truth and where a “withdrawal of life support” has been suggested prematurely by the Intensive Care team, because of the many competing interests in Intensive Care.
Recommended resources:
The next step then often involves the “timing” of the end of life situation. Here, once again, the Intensive Care team then often wants to have “the bed empty” as quickly as possible, because the next admission is not far away. The Intensive Care team will also have in mind the massive costs for an Intensive Care bed and they therefore want to have an empty bed as quickly as possible.
But what about your and your Family’s needs? Do you think that your and your Family’s needs are met if an end of life situation is rushed or hastened? Do you think that if your critically ill loved one is in an end of life situation that you should have some input?
I have seen many end of life situations in Intensive Care where death has been rushed, for many reasons, but mainly to suit the Intensive Care team’s agenda and mainly to suit their needs rather than looking at your and your Family’s needs and your peace of mind.
Most families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care don’t ask how they want to have the end of life situation of their loved one to look like. They often assume that the Intensive Care team “knows best”.
Always be involved in the decision making process, irrespective of the situation you are facing and don’t be intimidated by the Intensive Care team’s perceived power
In more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries I have found that if you leave the decision making to the Intensive Care team in end of life situations, you’d be pretty disappointed and you may well leave with bitter feelings and anger rather than with peace of mind.
Here are some actions steps that will help you to achieve more piece of mind, control, power and influence in an end of life situation
- Have you thought about asking for more time in the end of life situation? Maybe you and your Family need another 48-72 hours to come to terms with losing your critically ill loved one
- Have you thought about whether there are any key people that may want to see your dying loved one, such as relatives coming in from overseas or interstate?
- Think about how the Intensive Care team can provide a private and dignified end of life situation for you, your Family and your critically ill loved one and simply ask for it. Don’t let a limited mindset of the Intensive Care team hold you back. Just because the Intensive Care team says something can’t be done or can’t be organized doesn’t mean that they can’t. You just need to keep asking for it and you just can’t take “No” for an answer
- Is your critically ill loved one in a quiet and peaceful area in the Intensive Care Unit?
- Does your critically ill loved one and your Family need a quiet side room for their final hours?
- Are there any religious, spiritual and/or cultural things that you and your Family want?
- Is there anything else that you want in this end of life situation that would help you and your Family to get peace of mind?
- Do you and your Family want to be at the bedside at the time of death or would you rather not be present during the time of death?
- Do you want your critically ill loved one to die at home? Again, I have seen many Families who would have wished for their loved one to go home and approach their end of life at home. Some countries have adopted these practices and in Germany, Austria, Switzerland and in Australia some Patients can approach their end of life in their own home. Check out INTENSIVECAREATHOME.COM.AU for more information
- Once again and I can’t stress it enough, is your critically ill loved one really dying or is the Intensive Care team “selling” to you that death is the only option?
You and your Family are much more powerful than you think you are
Don’t let the Intensive Care team put pressure on you by them saying “by 10pm tonight we’re going to stop treatment”. Don’t assume that they hold all the decision making power. They certainly do hold all the decision making power if you let them.
If you want to have peace of mind, control, power and influence in an end of life situation you need to make that clear to the Intensive Care team and you need to ask for what you want.
Once again, in more than 15 years Intensive Care Nursing in three different countries I have found that if you and your Family can direct the end of life situation you will have peace of mind, control, power and influence.
Just because your critically ill loved one is in a busy and noisy Intensive Care Unit doesn’t mean that the Intensive Care Unit can’t organize a quiet and peaceful side room for your critically ill loved one and for you. You certainly don’t want to be exposed in a busy Intensive Care during such a private and hopefully dignified situation.
And also, just because your critically ill loved one is in Intensive Care doesn’t mean that they can’t go home during their final days. Check out INTENSIVECAREATHOME.COM.AU for more information!
If you keep asking for the things that you want- and don’t be shy to do so and don’t be intimidated by the Intensive Care team’s perceived power- you will have peace of mind, control, power and influence.
How can you further leverage your level of power, influence and control whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care and how can you be in control of the situation?
You’ll get to that all important feeling of power, control and influence when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below! In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE ‘INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below!
In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
In your FREE reports you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 “killer” tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s “blog” and I’ll see you again in another update next week!
Make sure you also check out our “your questions answered” section where we answer your questions or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
Also check out our Products section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 consulting!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!
Sincerely, your Friend
Patrik Hutzel
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