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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
In last week’s blog I’ve shown you
“Five straightforward ways to improve Family satisfaction in Intensive Care!”
You can read, watch or listen to last week’s update here.
In this week’s blog I want to show you
“5 SIMPLE HABITS THAT HELP YOU TO HAVE CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE WHILST YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!”
Fear, frustration, struggle, challenge, overwhelm and vulnerability are all feelings and thoughts that you can resonate with if your loved one has been admitted to Intensive Care for critical illness!
After all you and your Family most likely didn’t expect that you would have a Family member in Intensive Care and even if you did see it coming, it’s still a very painful, frightening, challenging and difficult situation to be confronted with! This is especially true if your critically ill loved one’s life is in danger, if they are very unstable and/or if they are facing a long-term stay in Intensive Care!
By now you would have also discovered and noticed that the Intensive Care team doesn’t necessarily want you to get too heavily involved in what they are doing. After all the Intensive Care team has their own agenda and the Intensive Care team may position your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis and prognosis depending on their interests and depending on what’s happening “behind the scenes”.
“Behind the scenes” is really where the Intensive Care team makes decisions and comes to conclusions on how to present your critically ill loved one’s prognosis and diagnosis to you. Those decisions and conclusions that the Intensive Care team makes are often not based on the clinical facts and realities and are more often than not based on
- The bed situation in Intensive Care, I.e. how many other Patients are awaiting admission into scarce, expensive and precious Intensive Care beds
- The politics, the intrigue, the power play, the psychology, the drama and the dynamics that go on “behind the scenes” that the Intensive Care team is hiding from you at any cost
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- The perceived financial viability of your critically ill loved one’s admission. I.e. if the Intensive Care thinks your critically ill loved one’s admission to Intensive Care is putting too much pressure on their budget or if they think that your critically ill loved one’s admission is not making them any money, the Intensive Care team will simply tell you that a “withdrawal or a limitation of treatment” might be “in the best interest” for your critically ill loved one
- The perception the Intensive Care team has of you and of your Family. For example if the Intensive Care team knows that you are not demanding, if you are not asking the right questions and if you are taking everything for face value that the Intensive Care team is telling you, they will perceive you as “easy prey” and you will stand no chance to even get a glimpse about the real situation that you, your Family and your critically ill loved one are facing
- How powerful, how much control and how much influence you and your Family have, based on whether you are intimidated by the perceived power of the Intensive Care team, based on how many and what type of questions you ask, based on whether you see yourself as equals to the Intensive Care team and also based on that you and your Family believe that you have control, power and influence irrespective of the situation that you are facing
- Medical Research. Yes, based on medical research. You’d be surprised if I tell you that medical research is a million dollar $$$ industry and most Intensive Care Units are involved in and rely on getting 6, 7 or sometimes even 8 figure funding from Universities, Pharmaceutical companies etc… to do medical research. If you are or if you were unaware that this is a reality then you’d better listen to this because the reality is that if the Intensive Care team is telling you that a “withdrawal or a limitation of treatment” might be “in the best interest” for your critically ill loved one, they might be telling you that they are not interested in continuing treatment for your critically ill loved one because they don’t fit any of their research criteria. If on the other hand your critically ill loved one is actually going to die and the Intensive Care team is telling you that they would like to continue treatment, it may be because your critically ill loved one is fitting into a research criteria and the Intensive Care team therefore wants to continue treatment, putting your critically ill loved one through unnecessary treatment and suffering
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The good news is that irrespective of what the Intensive Care team is doing and irrespective of their positioning there are a lot of things that you can do to have control, power and influence and you can start with
”5 SIMPLE HABITS THAT HELP YOU TO HAVE CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE WHILST YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!”
Let’s look at those habits them in detail to get you off on the right path
1. Ask the right questions
The grim and unfortunate reality is that 99% of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care don’t ask the right questions. Their questions tend be weak in nature and they tend to be too general. In order to get a good grip on the situation you need to ask the right questions by informing and educating yourself quickly. You can do so by reading our INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM blog, you can read our “your questions answered” section and you can just go to our “clinical pictures” section and click on the clinical picture that your critically ill loved one has been admitted with. Make it a habit to ask the right questions. Don’t be afraid to ask difficult and challenging questions, because they are the questions that will give you not only the most insights, but they will also give you the biggest leverage when it comes to control, power and influence in this challenging situation
2. Don’t be intimidated by the “perceived power” and the “perceived authority” of the Intensive Care team
Another very unfortunate reality that I have encountered over and over again in more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries is that 99% of Families of critically ill Patients are intimidated by the perceived power of the Intensive Care team. You need to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team right now and you need to start challenging the Intensive Care team, irrespective of how much you think you know about what’s going on. By you being intimidated by the Intensive Care team, you are basically handing over any level of control, power and influence you might have had over to the Intensive Care team on a platter…
The question remains, how can you stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team?
3. Change YOUR body language
In order to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team, you and your Family need to change your body language as a starting point.
I bet that from the minute you found out that your loved one has been admitted to Intensive Care your body language and your body posture has changed to something unhealthy like
- Crossed arms
- Neck and face down
- Slumped shoulders
- Avoiding eye contact
Those are all signs that are normal when we are faced with a challenging situation. The challenge here is to recognize that it’s happening and then change it. I bet you feel far more powerful, in control and influential when you’ve changed your body language. And I can promise you that the Intensive Care team will notice that your body language is different. They will notice that your body language says “yes, I can deal with this challenge and I’m not intimidated by what’s happening and I’m certainly not intimidated by the Intensive Care team, because I have control, power and influence!”
Make eye contact with the Intensive Care team at all times, look them in the eye and tell them one way or another that you are not intimidated. Your body language is so important and as some statistics and research suggests, 7% we communicate is with words and more than 70% we communicate with our body language. That’s powerful stuff if you know how to use it…
4. Don’t make common mistakes Families of critically ill Patients are making
99% of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care make three simple but easily avoidable mistakes when they have a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care. You can easily avoid those mistakes once you know what they are. I have written a blog post about
Check it out so that you discover what mistakes you have been making and how you can stop making them
5. Seek out help
Another simple habit that you can start implementing now, that will lead you directly to control, power and influence is to seek out professional help and support. In order to get professional help, support and more insights into the world of Intensive Care so that you, your Family and your critically ill loved one have more control, power and influence in a world that was previously dominated by Intensive Care health professionals
How can you further leverage your level of power, influence and control whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care and how can you be in control of the situation?
You’ll get to that all important feeling of power, control and influence when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below! In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE ‘INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below!
In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 “killer” tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s “blog” and I’ll see you again in another update next week!
Make sure you also check out our “your questions answered” section where we answer your questions or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
Also check out our Products section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 consulting!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!
Sincerely, your Friend
Patrik Hutzel
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