Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we INSTANTLY improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making FAST, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
This is another episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” and in last week’s episode I answered another question from one of our readers and the question last week was
You can check out the answer to last week’s question by clicking on the link here.
In this week’s episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” I want to answer another question from one of our readers and the question this week is from Amanda in the United States and Amanda asks
“My loved one has HIV, lymphoma on his brain, seizures, is septic and is ventilated! The Intensive Care team is trying to TAKE MY HOPE AWAY and they are all NEGATIVE! HELP!”
I wanted to reach out to you about a loved one who is critically ill in Intensive Care. My loved one is dealing with HIV.
He was admitted to the hospital three times since September with different infections. The first time he was admitted he had sepsis and was treated with various antibiotics.
He stayed in Intensive Care for a few days and was moved to a regular room. He was in the hospital for two weeks and discharged. I had to bring him back to the ER less than a week later.
He was admitted to a regular room and stayed in the hospital for a month. He was aggressively treated with antibiotics for bacteria and started HIV medication.
He was also diagnosed with lymphoma on his brain. He was doing much better after a few weeks, but he had oedema and some bladder control issues when he left the hospital.
He was supposed to be starting chemotherapy for the lymphoma within a week or two. He was still being treated with antibiotics through a PICC line and taking his medication.
He was only home for a week and I had to bring him back to the ER last Tuesday.
He was awake and breathing when he went to the ER, but this time they put him on a breathing machine and sedated him. He was sent to the ICU.
They said that he had bacteria all in his body and in his brain. Although I know that his immune system is very weak, I don’t understand how the got these other infections so quickly.
He had two spinal taps while at the hospital. They took his blood work everyday and they did all types of procedures.
I don’t understand how they did not notice these other infections or why he was discharged before all the infection was gone.
He is not receiving any sedation medicine, but he is still not waking up.
He also had a few seizures which he is receiving medicine for. I had a meeting with some of his doctors and I was told that he was critically ill.
They wanted to know what myself and his family would want to do if his heart stops beating. I have been praying for him everyday and I will only believe in positive outcomes!
I understand that he is very ill, but I do not think it is impossible for him to pull through.
I called the social worker this morning about something else, and she said that he developed full blown AIDS and his body will not be able to fight off the infection and he will not recover.
She claimed that she was not trying to be mean, but I feel like why would she say that. She is not a doctor and she is not GOD.
I understand that he is very ill, but I feel like people are trying to take my hope away.
I have been very sad and scared about everything that is going on and I feel so lost. I want to take things one day at a time, because I feel like he will improve.
thank you for reaching out!
I am very sorry to hear that your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! It sounds like you and your critically ill loved one are in an extremely difficult and challenging situation!
First of all, I want to encourage you to stay positive!
Do not let anybody take away your courage of staying positive whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!
Staying positive is half of the battle, even if the outcome isn’t going to be a desired outcome and I’ll explain why in a minute!
Let’s now quickly look at the clinical facts from what you are describing!
Your critically ill loved one has HIV and you need to know that many people live with HIV for decades without any symptoms!
My experience in more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries where I have literally worked with THOUSANDS of critically ill Patients and their Families, has shown me that HIV Patients can overcome an Intensive Care stay as well, irrespective of the odds they are facing!
Generally speaking HIV, critical illness and Intensive Care are not a good combination, however it can be overcome.
Unfortunately, you haven’t given me any information as to how long your critically ill loved one has been ventilated for and for how long he has had sedation for.
If your critically ill loved one had bacteria on his brain, this could well have led to the seizures, however I can’t diagnose that from afar.
The CT scans and/or MRI’s would most likely have the answer to that.
I also think it’s a good strategy to take things “one day at the time”!
I can also see that your optimism is challenged by the Intensive Care team asking you “what yourself and his family want if his heart stops beating”.
Now, you need to know and understand that Intensive Care teams can be very quick at painting a “doom and gloom” picture, especially in light of the fact that a recovery of your critically ill loved one could take a long time, if a recovery is possible at all.
You need to know and understand that often the positioning the Intensive Care team takes in the following situations where critically ill Patients are either
- very unstable and in a very critical condition
- in a life threatening situation
- In a situation where the Intensive Care team suggests a “withdrawal of treatment” or a “limitation of treatment” as being “in the best interest” of your critically ill loved one
is more often than not a reflection of what’s happening “BEHIND THE SCENES” in Intensive Care.
What’s happening “BEHIND THE SCENES” in Intensive Care is so powerful that critically ill Patients’ fate and destiny can be decided behind closed doors and can be presented and “sold” to Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care as being “IN THE BEST INTEREST” of their critically ill loved one.
- CONTROL, POWER, INFLUENCE AND PEACE OF MIND EVEN IN THE MOST CHALLENGING OF CIRCUMSTANCES THAT YOU, YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR CRITICALLY ILL LOVED ONE COULD FACE IN INTENSIVE CARE
- THE 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF THE MEDICAL TEAM IN INTENSIVE CARE WANTS TO “LIMIT TREATMENT”, WANTS TO “WITHDRAW TREATMENT” OR “WITHDRAW LIFE SUPPORT” OR WANTS TO ISSUE A “DNR” (DO NOT RESUSCITATE) OR AN “NFR” (NOT FOR RESUSCITATION) ORDER FOR YOUR CRITICALLY ILL LOVED ONE!
In reality, the financial interests ($$$), the bed management pressures, staffing issues, politics, medical research interests, the dynamics, the power play, the competing interests, the intrigue and the psychology in Intensive Care is what’s driving the Intensive Care team’s agenda and ultimately your critically ill loved one’s fate and destiny if you are ill prepared!
Your job therefore is to develop an awareness that this is what you are dealing with and then embark on a journey that gives you PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence, irrespective of the challenges that you are currently facing!
You mustn’t be intimidated by the “perceived power” and the “perceived authority” of the Intensive Care team!
Once you know and understand the forces that you are up against, you then still need to stay strong and positive, that is extremely important!
Even if your critically ill loved one is inevitably approaching his end of life in Intensive Care, you still want to have the end of life situation on your terms and not on the Intensive Care team’s terms!
You want to be realistic, however you also don’t want to play the Intensive Care team’s games of “doom and gloom”, if you think that your critically ill loved one will recover!
From what you are describing clinically, the odds might be against your critically ill loved one, however you know him best and you know how resilient he is and how he deals with challenges and adversity!
I also believe from what you are describing that neither the Intensive Care team nor the social worker take your emotional state into consideration.
The language they use is most likely not appropriate for the situation and they need to show more compassion.
In the meantime, do what feels right for you! You don’t want your critically ill loved one suffering unnecessarily, however you do need to stand your ground irrespectively!
I hope that helps Amanda.
I can also be available for a FREE 15- 30 minute Skype consultation.
Please let me know if you have anymore questions.
Thank you& Kind Regards
How can you have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
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In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below!
In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 “killer” tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” and I’ll see you again in another update next week! Make sure you also check out our BLOG section for more tips and strategies or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!