My Dad is in ICU after a SUBDURAL HAEMATOMA, he’s had MULTIPLE SURGERIES and he’s NOT WAKING UP! Help!”(PART 2)

Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!

This is another episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” and in last week’s episode I answered another question from one of our readers and the question last week was PART 1 of this week’s question “My Dad is in ICU after a SUBDURAL HAEMATOMA, he’s had MULTIPLE SURGERIES and he’s NOT WAKING UP! Help!”(PART 1)

You can check out the answer to last week’s question here.

In this week’s episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” I want to continue with last week’s question as our reader Laura had more questions and comments. Therefore I want to shed more light on Laura’s Dad’s situation in today’s episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” My Dad is in ICU after a SUBDURAL HAEMATOMA, he’s had MULTIPLE SURGERIES and he’s NOT WAKING UP! Help!”(PART 2)

Laura from Ireland

Hi Patrik,

I cannot express how grateful myself and my family are for the lengthy e-mail you sent back, I’ve sent it to my sister and read it to my mum and we all got great comfort and insight from what you said. It really has made a world of difference to know the inner workings of an Intensive Care Unit and to know that we are not at their mercy as we are now armed with all this information.

I’ve also read your INSTANT IMPACT report and as you have outlined, there is definitely a difference between the attitude of the neurosurgeon and the head of ICU who appears to have already made his mind up about my dad’s prognosis after just 6 weeks, which in neurological terms seems quite a short period of time to us! He even started talking about “not resuscitating” in our family meeting, at which point the neurosurgeon in fact interrupted to say dad’s heart is as strong as an Ox, so not something we need to even think about right now, but it seems this is a clear indication of this doctors frame of mind and negative perspective!

You are certainly right about following your gut instinct as we are sure our dad will wake up, given time, so we had a meeting with the head nurse in ICU to ensure there is now only positive attitudes in dad’s room and that as a family we are very aware of how serious dad’s situation is but that we are full sure he will recover. This appears to have made quite a difference and we feel a much better attitude towards us and dad, although to be fair most of the nurses have been absolutely fantastic since the beginning and we certainly can’t fault the medical care he is receiving.

In relation to the Factor 13 deficiency, we had no idea about this until the results of the blood tests they took after surgery came back this week. The neurosurgeon asked a haematologist to get involved as he couldn’t figure out why there was a re-bleed and also the fact that there was no major trauma that we could identify that caused dad’s bleed in the first place as his lifestyle (not a heavy drinker) doesn’t lend itself to a Subdural haematoma based on anything other than some kind of trauma to the head.

In the latest MRI the only factor was the fact that the midline shift hadn’t yet fully corrected itself, the neurosurgeon thought there was still a possible 4 to 5 millimetre shift still to happen, this MRI was just over 2 weeks ago now, so he is planning another MRI for this week. An EEG was performed a few days ago but we haven’t yet been given the results, however the neurosurgeon didn’t think it would show up much and mentioned the fact it wouldn’t be completely normal while dad remains in a coma, but we will chase up these results tomorrow (it is a Bank Holiday in Ireland so not many doctors about!) Thank you for the advice on stimulus, we are really hoping dad gets moved to a room on a ward soon which will have a window, so that he can get some natural light and fresh air.

At the moment he gets washed and turned and mouth care 3 times per day and he is also on a special bed to prevent bedsores. He also receives physio every day but as far as I’m aware he only receives the intense physio (which sits him on the edge of the bed) once per week, do you think we should ask for this to be increased? Thanks again for the time you have taken to give me such a full and inspiring reply, it really is great work that you are doing to inform families who find themselves in this very difficult situation.

All the best Laura

Hi Laura,

Thank you for your email and your kind words! Your Dad needs to get out in a chair daily, everything else is not good enough, it is poor nursing care and very poor Physiotherapy.

By keeping him in bed the Intensive Care team is framing his case to their “liking” and they start believing that he won’t be able to get out of bed and they therefore have a point in case. Good care includes mobilising Patients into a chair daily even in Intensive Care, sometimes even when Patients are ventilated.

There is also no reason why he can’t have a shower at least twice a week. Mobilisation and showering is possible in Intensive care without any problems. Don’t accept anything less than that.

Keep asking for what you and your Family want and don’t accept anything less!

On a conscious or subconscious level the Intensive Care team thinks they “know what’s best” for your father and for your family and they may think that it might be in “his best interest” to not “wake up”, as they will be discussing his case in their meetings and handovers.

As an extra tip, try to be there during a handover and listen to what they are saying to each other. If they are trying to send you out when they hand over, ask them if they have anything to hide. In the meantime, keep asking for what you and your family want and don’t accept anything less!

Also keep in mind, whilst it’s an emotional roller coaster for you and your family, many Intensive Care teams are also not prepared to “take that ride” with you, because it’s emotionally draining for them as well and they may therefore not be prepared to “go full throttle”.

Knowing that this is how they might feel about your Dad’s and your situation might also help you to push things in a direction that you and your Family feel is the right thing to do. It often pays dividends to be “difficult and demanding” and if your Dad won’t wake up you still know you’ve done your best and you can have at least “PEACE OF MIND”!

Thanks again Laura and I wish you and your Family all the very best!

I have also interviewed Laura and here is a link to the interview with her

Podcast with Laura who’s DAD has been in Intensive Care since March 2014 with a SUBDURAL HAEMATOMA AND HE’S NOT WAKING UP! Listen to Laura’s story!

How can you have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?

You get to that all important feeling of PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below! In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below! In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care! In your FREE report you’ll also discover

How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
5 “killer” tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)

Thank you for tuning into this week’s episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” and I’ll see you again in another update next week! Make sure you also check out our BLOG section with more tips and strategies or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!

Also check out our Products section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 consulting!

This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update! Sincerely, your Friend Patrik Hutzel