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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we INSTANTLY improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making FAST, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
In last week’s BLOG I’ve shown you “How to MUTE your NEGATIVE INNER DIALOGUE whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!”
You can check out last week’s BLOG here!
In this week’s BLOG I want to share with you
“How the Intensive Care team is SKILFULLY PLAYING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS, if your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!” (PART 1)
In today’s BLOG I want to address a very big issue for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care!
It’s an issue that’s mainly flying under the radar for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care!
It’s an issue that Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are hardly aware of that it’s happening, because they tend to be so far outside of their comfort zone, they are overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, vulnerable and they often simply don’t know what to do and how to deal with this “ONCE IN A LIFETIME” challenge and frustration!
Related Article:
You really need to dig down deep into the psychology and the dynamics at play in Intensive Care
So in order to become aware of the issue and to really dig down deep into the psychology at play in Intensive Care, you and your Family need to understand that if your critically ill loved one is
- very unstable and in a very critical condition
- in a life threatening situation
the Intensive Care team will adjust their behaviour, their positioning, the things they say to you and how they say it.
Let me say this again, because it’s so important!
The minute your critically ill loved one is
- very unstable and in a very critical condition
- in a life threatening situation
the Intensive Care team is adjusting their behaviour, they are speaking a language that’s very guarded and they are speaking a language that’s designed to protect their interests and their interests only!
They are not talking to you as if your loved one is in Intensive Care for a couple of days and it’s all going well.
Too much is at stake for the Intensive Care team
Now if you have found yourself in one of those difficult, challenging and frustrating situations where your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care or is even in a perceived or real end of life situation, if you don’t understand that the Intensive Care team is adjusting their behaviour and is
“SKILLFULLY PLAYING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS”
you haven’t fully embraced and you haven’t fully understood what’s happening here and you haven’t fully understood what dynamics are at play and the psychology behind it.
I’ll give you a few real world examples so that you understand what I mean by that!
Your 62 year old husband has been diagnosed with Leukaemia and he got admitted to Intensive Care after he developed Pneumonia on the ward after he had some Chemotherapy treatment.
It looks as if your 62 year old husband might require some invasive and mechanical ventilation, basically a tube down in your husband’s lungs in order to help him breathe, as the Pneumonia is leading to rapid decline in his respiratory(breathing) function!
The challenge with Leukaemia or cancer Patients in Intensive Care is often that they are extremely sick Patients and that mechanical ventilation in particular is an uncertain endeavour because Leukaemia or cancer Patients tend not to have many reserves left.
However in this particular instance you and your children know that your husband is a fighter and you and your kids are very positive that your husband will get through it.
The Intensive Care team has already put your husband on a ventilator and he is now in an induced coma to keep him comfortable.
You are now asked to attend a “formal” Family meeting
The next day you and your Family are asked to attend a “formal” Family meeting with the Intensive Care team!
Recommended resources
Related Articles
- How can I be prepared, be mentally strong and be well positioned for a Family meeting with the Intensive Care team?(PART 1)
- How can I be prepared, be mentally strong and be well positioned for a Family meeting with the Intensive Care team?(PART 2)
- Family Meetings in Intensive Care or the Elephant in the Room
- How to be AWARE and PRESENT in Family meetings with the Intensive Care team
In the “formal” Family meeting the Intensive Care team is painting a “doom and gloom” picture and the senior Intensive Care consultant is telling you that he believes that a “WITHDRAWAL OF TREATMENT” or a “LIMITATION OF TREATMENT” would be “IN THE BEST INTEREST” of your husband!
The senior doctor/consultant also mentions that a continuation of treatment would be “futile”!
Recommended resource:
Your alarm bells need to go off!
I can assure you and I can tell you that after more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing experience in three different countries and after I have worked with literally THOUSANDS of critically ill Patients and their Families that whenever the Intensive Care team uses the words “in the best interest of your critically ill loved one”, your alarm bells need to go off and you need to be on high alert!
The reality and the fact of the matter is that the dynamics and the psychology at play in such a difficult, challenging and literally life or death situation is very complex and if you are not aware of the dynamics and the psychology at play, you, your Family and your critically ill loved one are doomed and you will have no PEACE OF MIND, no power, no control and no influence!
The fact of the matter is that the minute your critically ill loved one has been admitted to Intensive Care and the minute you feel like the Intensive Care team is trying to save your critically ill loved one’s life, that’s the minute you feel gratitude and that’s the minute when you feel like you are indebted to the Intensive Care team.
The “Law of reciprocity” always says that whenever somebody is doing something nice for you or is doing you a favour that you want to return that favour!
The ”law of reciprocity” in Intensive Care doesn’t serve you
But in Intensive Care in life or death situations this “Law of reciprocity” is dangerous and it doesn’t serve you!
I have been in too many situations in Intensive Care, in family meetings, in “perceived” end of life situations, where the Intensive Care team skilfully and shrewdly “sold” families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care on a “WITHDRAWAL OF TREATMENT” or on a “WITHDRAWAL OF LIFE SUPPORT” as “IN THE BEST INTEREST” of their critically ill loved one!
I can assure you that after more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing experience in three different countries and after I have worked with literally THOUSANDS of critically ill Patients and their Families that I have seen too many situations where the Intensive Care team is highly aware, shrewd and adept at taking advantage of your emotions and is taking advantage of the tendency of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care to “give back” because they feel indebted and they want to return some favours!
But you are on dangerous ground, because it’s the very life, the very health of your critically ill loved one and the very sanity of your Family at stake here.
Related article:
How to play a “high stakes” game that only the Intensive Care team knows how to win
And once you’ve gone down that path, once you have given in to the requests of the Intensive Care team, it’s too late for you and your Family to have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence!
Once you’ve gone down that path, it’s too late for you to do your own research, once you’ve gone down that path it’s too late for you and for your Family to understand that the decision making of the Intensive Care team goes way beyond your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis and prognosis!
Related Article:
Once you’ve gone down that path, it’s too late for you and your Family to understand that the Intensive Care team’s positioning of your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis and prognosis is directly related to
- The financial interests of the Intensive Care team. I.e. do they think that they will meet their budget targets by continuing treatment on your critically ill loved one
- The competition for scarce, precious and expensive Intensive Care beds. I.e. other Patients waiting and competing for Intensive Care beds
- The medical research interests of the Intensive Care team. At any given moment medical research is being conducted in Intensive Care on real human beings, i.e. YOUR CRITICALLY ILL LOVED ONE, often without you or your loved one being aware of it and without you or your critically ill loved one giving verbal or written consent! The truth of the matter is that medical research is a multi- billion $$$ Dollar per year industry and a positioning tool for Intensive Care Units
- The things that are happening “BEHIND THE SCENES” in Intensive Care. The things happening “BEHIND THE SCENES” in Intensive Care are so powerful that if you don’t understand that the dynamics, the power play, the politics, the competing interests, the intrigue, the psychology and most of all the hidden agenda of the Intensive Care team you will literally have a very hard time of having PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! It’ll be easy for the Intensive Care team to keep you and your Family at “arm’s length”!
In next week’s BLOG, I’ll give you another example of “How the Intensive Care team is skilfully playing with your emotions!”(PART 2)
Until then make sure that you continue doing your own research and make sure that there is nothing standing in your way of you having PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence, no matter how difficult or challenging the situation you are facing!
Remember, PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence are possible and within your reach even if your critically ill loved one is dying!
Sincerely, your Friend
Patrik Hutzel
How can you have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
You get to that all important feeling of PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below! In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below! In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care! In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 “killer” tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” and I’ll see you again in another update next week! Make sure you also check out our BLOG section for more tips and strategies or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
Also check out our Products section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 consulting!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!