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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com with another quick tip for families in intensive care.

So, today I have an email from Romero who says, 

“Hi Patrik,

The ICU doctors want to meet with my family to discuss the next steps for my mom since she is not waking up in ICU. Can you please advise?”

Thank you so much, Romero, for checking in and for writing this email. So, it’s very brief and you haven’t given a lot of context, however, I have seen hundreds, probably thousands of critically ill patients in intensive care.

I have worked in critical care nursing for nearly 25 years in three different countries. I have worked as a nurse manager in ICU for 5 years and we’ve been consulting and advocating for families in intensive care here at intensivecarehotline.com since 2013. I can confidently and without the slightest hint of exaggeration say we have saved many lives with our consulting and advocacy. You can verify that on our testimonial section at intensivecarehotline.com, or you can verify it on our intensivecarehotline.com podcast where we’ve done some client interviews.

So, I’ve seen this situation hundreds, potentially thousands of times, where patients unfortunately don’t wake up in ICU and they’re not waking up with a timeline that’s convenient for the ICU team, which is why they want to meet with the family to discuss the next steps.

Now, I can tell you from my nearly 25 years of ICU nursing experience that you got to be very careful here. First things first, do not go into a family meeting with intensive care teams without having an agenda in writing. Think about it in a business context, any meeting in business has a meeting agenda, very simple. So, in intensive care, meetings are often about life or death. Would you go into a meeting without a written agenda and writing about life or death? Please.

99.9% of families of critically ill patients in intensive care do not use common sense. They’ve stopped using common sense because they are highly emotional. Please, your steps when you have a loved one critically ill in intensive care always need to come back to common sense. If you go into a meeting without having an agenda in writing, if you let them dictate or come to a meeting tomorrow at 3:00, you are putting yourself in a position where the intensive care team says jump and you ask how high, do not do that.

The intensive care team in this situation, Romero, is probably creating their own narrative about how to position your mom’s situation and they probably position it as, “Well, your mom is very sick, she’s not waking up. You should probably agree to withdraw treatment and let her die.” I’ve seen it once again, hundreds, potentially thousands of times, don’t do that.

So next, the question is, how long has she not been waking up for? Why is she in intensive care? Those are all highly relevant questions. If she’s not waking up, is she still on sedation? Is she still on opiates? Has she had a CT (Computed Tomography) scan of the brain? Has she had an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) scan of the brain? Has she had an EEG (Electroencephalography) of the brain? Is she not waking up because she’s got a traumatic brain injury, a hypoxic brain injury, an anoxic brain injury? Is she not waking up because she has too many sedatives on board? Too many opiates on board? Have the antidotes been given to try and wake her up? She’s not waking up because she’s simply too sick.  But the question really is, how long has she not been waking up for? Is it two days? Is it two weeks? Is it two months? Could be anything and it could be anything in between. 

The biggest challenge for families in intensive care is simply that they don’t know what they don’t know. They don’t know what to look for. They don’t know what questions to ask. They don’t know their rights and they don’t know how to manage doctors and nurses in intensive care. That is your challenge.

So, do not go into a meeting without getting an agenda in writing. Do not go into a meeting without you having access to the medical records.  Do not go into a meeting unless you have professional consulting advocacy, and you have representation in this meeting, that’s part of what we do. We do professional consulting and advocacy for families in intensive care, and we help families in intensive care to make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, influence, making sure you can influence decision making fast whilst your loved one is critically ill in intensive care, making sure your loved one gets best care and treatment.

Also, coming back to use common sense, just because the intensive care team asks to come for a meeting, well, again, don’t just run into a meeting. Get access to the medical records, let us look at the medical records, let us give you a second opinion and then go into a meeting prepared because we can, most likely, 99.9% certainty, tell you, after we had a look at the medical records what the meeting will be all about and you want to be prepared again. You are in a once in a lifetime situation that you can’t afford to get wrong, so you need to be prepared, you need to start managing intensive care teams, so they don’t manage you. There is a way, that’s what we are here to help you with.

That’s one of the many reasons we created the membership for families of critically ill patients in intensive care and you can become a member if you go to intensivecarehotline.com if you click on the membership link or if you go to intensivecaresupport.org directly. In the membership, you have access to me and my team, 24 hours a day, in the membership area and via email, and we answer all questions intensive care related. In the membership, you also have exclusive access to 21 eBooks and 21 videos that I have personally written and recorded, making sure you make informed decisions, you have peace of mind, control, power and influence, making sure your loved one gets best care and treatment, and you need to be able to influence decision-making fast.

I also do one-on-one consulting and advocacy over the phone, Zoom, WhatsApp, Skype, whichever medium works best for you. I talk to you and your families directly. I handhold you through this once in a lifetime situation that you can’t afford to get wrong. I also talk to doctors and nurses directly, on your behalf and with you, once again, making sure you make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, influence, making sure you can influence decision-making fast.

With all of that said, I also represent you in family meetings with intensive care teams, so that you have professional advocacy there.

We also do medical record reviews in real time so that you can get a second opinion in real time. We also do medical record reviews after intensive care if you have unanswered questions, if you need closure, or if you are suspecting medical negligence. 

All of that you get at the intensivecarehotline.com. Call us at one of the numbers on the top of our website or send us an email to [email protected] with your questions.

If you like my videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel for regular updates for families in intensive care. Click the like button, click the notification bell, comment below what do you want to see next, what questions and insights you have from my videos, and share the video with your friends and families.

I also do a weekly YouTube live where I answer your questions live on the show and you will get notification for the YouTube live if you are a subscriber to my YouTube channel or if you are a subscriber to our email newsletter at intensivecarehotline.com.

Thank you so much for watching.

This is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com and I will talk to you in a few days.

Take care for now.

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