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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com with another quick tip for families in intensive care.

So Mary asks, “Should I go into a family meeting with the intensive care team tomorrow?” And Mary has given me some context around that.

The ICU team has told her, she’s either going to consent to a tracheostomy, or they need to withdraw treatment. And the intensive care team has positioned it in a way that she has to come tomorrow at three o’clock. That’s when the doctors are free and she has to attend. And I go like, really? So what if they asked you to jump off a bridge? Would you jump off a bridge tomorrow at three o’clock just because that’s when it’s convenient for them?

So, if you are going into a family meeting, you need to be prepared. And what do I mean by that? You need to be prepared, you need to ask for a written agenda. See what’s on the table, what’s being discussed and you need to be prepared to go there. Otherwise, they will walk all over you.

So my tip is that, it really depends whether you should go, or you shouldn’t go. The ICU team is holding meetings in intensive care, 365 days of the year. They know what to say. They know when to say it. They know how to say it, and they know what information they don’t want to share with you.

You know nothing about family meetings in intensive care. You’re completely unprepared. They have an agenda, and they’re not going to share it with you unless you demand it in writing. And that is the only time you should consider going into a family meeting. And if you have a written agenda, you should then, as a next step, get us involved.

I can be there in a family meeting over the phone with you, because that’s the only way you have leverage. That way I can ask the right questions. I can prepare you. I can tell you upfront, what should you expect in a family meeting? What do you need to say? What questions do you need to have prepared? And so forth. It’s an art.

Intensive care is such a highly specialized area. I have been in hundreds of family meetings, either working in ICU or over the phone, or in person with my clients. That, I can prepare you for those meetings, what to expect, and you need to have strong clinical advocacy in those meetings. Because otherwise, they will only tell you what they want to tell you, with you, only knowing, half of the things that are going on there, if at all. And you need to be prepared.

So that is my quick tip for today.

If you have a loved one in intensive care, go to intensivecarehotline.com. Call us on one of the numbers on the top of the website, or in the numbers that are also below this video. Or send us an email to [email protected].

Also, have a look at our membership site for families in intensive care at intensivecaresupport.org and you can become a member there.

If you want a medical record review for your loved one while they are in intensive care, or even if they are out of intensive care and you want a review now, click on the link there.

Like this video, share it with your friends and family, subscribe to my YouTube channel for updates for families in intensive care, click the notification bell, and comment below what you want to see next.

Thanks for watching.

This is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com, and I will talk to you in a few days.