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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com with another quick tip for families in intensive care.

So, we get a lot of emails all the time from readers, really tell us what they think about what’s going on with a loved one in ICU. We had an email from Tom who says “The ICU where my dad is currently in doesn’t provide advanced treatments. They only give you constant negative news. What should I do?”

This is one of the challenges that we are hearing all the time over and over again that ICUs are so negative and that families are getting sick of hearing it, and that is actually one of their biggest challenges.

I can understand that having worked in intensive care for over 20 years in three different countries where I have worked for over five years as a nurse unit manager. Now, I have been consulting and advocating for families in intensive care for over 10 years for families in intensive care all around the world as a matter of fact.

So, let’s dive right into it, “What you should be doing when you are constantly faced with negative news for your loved one in intensive care and when you think they don’t provide the advanced treatment that your loved one can get.”

First off, you must have done some research, which is great. 99% of families in intensive care, they’re not even doing their research. So, give yourself a pat on the back for doing your research and for standing up for what you think should be happening, and asking questions because that’s the first step to improving the situation.

Now, how should you deal with negativity and how should you deal with when they’re not offering the treatment you know is available? First off, you need a second opinion to verify your research. We can give you a second opinion here at intensivecarehotline.com. So, we see this all the time when we work with clients one-on one-and we either talk to doctors and nurses directly in ICU or we look at medical records.

The intensive care teams are not even telling you half of the story of what’s going on, and that’s constantly focusing on the negative, rather than focusing on the upside, rather than focusing on, “What can we do here?” rather than “What can’t we do?” Big distinction. You can focus on the negative or you can focus on the positive. I strongly recommend you focus on the positive and not on the negative.

So, why do ICUs do that? They have a glass half-mentality rather than a glass half-full mentality. You need to counteract it. Why do they do it? There’s a high demand on ICU beds, i.e., the worst-case scenario for an ICU is to look after someone indefinitely with an uncertain outcome. Many ICU patients fit that criteria, but unfortunately, because of their condition, so uncertain outcomes.

So, it’s much easier to deal or to focus on the negatives and “pull out”, no longer offering any treatment and withdrawing treatment and all the rest of it, and no longer having to deal with a family that asks all these difficult questions, especially if you come to our website where we educate families of critically ill patients in the intensive care, we give them all the tools to start asking the right questions. So again, Tom, give yourself a pat on your back for doing the research and asking the right questions.

So, the next step here for you, Tommy is we can do a medical record review, but I’m also happy to talk to doctors and nurses directly. I will ask all the questions that you haven’t even considered asking, but you must ask so that you make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, and influence.

You will see that once I’m starting it, either questions or once we look at the medical records and give you all the details that you need to know, that the dynamics will actually change in your favor. Then, the intensive care team knows you have someone on your team that understands intensive care inside out just as much as they do. That’s the only way to counterbalance their perceived power. But keep in mind, it’s only perceived power.

You have the power to by standing up to for what you believe and by asking all the right questions and I have to follow your lead. They can’t just pull out on treatment, that could get them into legal trouble if they won’t continue treating your critically ill loved one. If they were going to die and you have not approved withdrawing treatment or limiting treatment, then that could be perceived as euthanasia, could be perceived as murder. You have to consider all of that, and you might have to consider all your legal actions in a situation like that too.

So, that is my quick tip for today.

Now, we have a membership for families of critically ill patients in intensive care at intensivecarehotline.com if you click on the membership link or if you go to intensivecaresupport.org directly. In the membership, you have access to me and my team, 24 hours a day, in the membership area and via email and we answer all questions in intensive care related.

I also offer one-on-one consulting advocacy for families of critically ill patients in intensive care. I talk to you directly. I talk to your family members directly. I talk to doctors and nurses directly or to case managers. I ask all the questions you haven’t even considered asking but must be asked so that you make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, and influence.

I also represent you in family meetings with intensive care teams. I establish whether you should actually go to a family meeting or not or whether there’s other strategies you should be pursuing first because going into a family meeting without a strategy, it’s doomed to fail for you. Intensive care teams will have the upper hand if you go in there unprepared without advocacy, I can assure you of that I’ve been in those meetings hundreds of times either as a bedside nurse or now as a professional consultant, advocate for families in intensive care.

Now, we also offer medical record reviews in real time so that you can get a second opinion in real time. We also offer medical record reviews after intensive care if you have unanswered questions, if you need closure, or if you are suspecting medical negligence.

All of that, you get at intensivecarehotline.com. Call us on one of the numbers on the top of our website or send us an email to [email protected].

Thank you so much for watching.

If you like my videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel for regular updates for families in intensive care. Click the like button, click the notification bell, comment below what you want to see next and what questions and insights you have, and share the video with your friends and families.

Thank you so much for watching.

This is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com and I will talk to you in a few days.

Take care for now.