Quick Tip for Families in ICU: Why Quality of End of Life in ICU Matters!

Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com with another quick tip for families in intensive care.

Today’s tip is about if someone dies in intensive care, is it important how they died? Well, what a great question to ask.

Now, many families in intensive care come to us and they say things like, “My loved one is in intensive care and they’re probably going to die. Should we be agreeing to a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order or an NFR (Not For Resuscitation) order in case the heart stops and then they would inevitably die?”

Or they’re asking questions like, should we be following the intensive care team’s advice and stop all life support and let their loved ones die because according to the intensive care team, they wouldn’t have any “quality of life” and they are suffering.

Now, if you are asking this question, I’m sure you can actually answer that question for yourself. Now, if you were in that situation in intensive care, what would you want? Would you want to fight for a fighting chance, or would you just want to stop everything and let your loved one pass away? Because then, if your loved one has passed away, he or she is gone. They’re gone. They’re gone for good.

They would be gone for good and two years later, you will be asking the question, what if? What if we had continued life support? What if we had not signed the DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order? What if we had not signed the NFR (Not For Resuscitation) order?

Well, you can probably now see where I’m going with this. You always want to go out on a fighting chance . I disagree with the notion that families and their patients in intensive care suffer unduly. Yes, there may be an element of suffering. I’m not disputing that, but what if suffering leads you to being alive? What if suffering leaves you to spending more time with your family, more quality time with your family even if they’re still dying?

I can’t tell you how many families come to us after a year or two years after they’ve lost a loved one in intensive care and they’re saying things like, “Oh, we’ve agreed to stop life support prematurely”, because then they’re asking the question, what if? What if my loved one would have survived?

Many intensive care teams, as a matter of fact, don’t care about that. All they see is, “Well, we need that bed for the next patient . We don’t agree with what your perception is about quality of life.” But that’s all it is, it is a perception and you are in control of that perception, not the intensive care team.

Remember that at all times that you are in perception of what you want, not the intensive care team. And the intensive care team has a duty of care for you or for your loved one to do what you want and not what they think might be best in the interest of the intensive care unit, of their bed management strategies, of their financial budget, etcetera.

Quality of end-of-life matters. It matters for your peace of mind. It matters for your peace of mind down the line, whether your loved one survives or not.

That is my quick tip for today.

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And if you have a loved one in intensive care, call us on one of the numbers on the top of our website, intensivecarehotline.com or simply send me an email to [email protected].

Take care for now.

This is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com and I’ll talk to you in a few days.