Having your loved one critically ill in Intensive Care, don’t be a victim! - INTENSIVE CARE HOTLINE

Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can make informed decisions, have peace of mind, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!

In the last blog I talked about Part 2 of

The 7 most dangerous trends families of critically ill Patients are currently facing in Intensive Care!(PART2)

You can check out last week’s blog by clicking on the link here.

You can also check out Part 1 of The 7 most dangerous trends families of critically ill Patients are currently facing in Intensive Care!(PART 1) here.

In this week’s blog I want to talk about

Having your loved one critically ill in Intensive Care, don’t be a victim!!!

Before I get into today’s topic I want to share a quote with you that I wrote on today’s topic and the quote says

When you and your family are faced with this “once in a lifetime” challenge and “once in a lifetime” situation when you’re having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care, you can’t really afford to be getting this wrong!

The truth of the matter is that many families who have a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care are not only in a “once in a lifetime” situation that they know they can’t afford to get wrong, they are also more often than not in a “life or death” situation!

In such a situation, during such an ordeal it’s very easy to become victimized!

Being victimized includes and is not limited to blaming others, not taking responsibility for outcomes, thoughts, feelings and actions, trusting others blindly, not asking the questions you know you need to ask and also simply not doing the research you know you need doing in order to make informed decisions, get peace of mind, get control, get power and have influence!

Now, let’s get into today’s topic!

This topic today has really been inspired by some recent events and by some recent client contacts.

Over the last few weeks I have been in contact with some clients that have shared some horrific things with me that left me speechless at first.

A couple of weeks back I had a lady calling me and she said to me, “I had my son in Intensive Care recently and he died!”

The lady sounded very composed given her recent experience and I started to gently try and dig a little deeper.

I asked her how old her son was when he died? The lady said “He was six”.

I was speechless and I was very sad.

After a moment of silence on the phone while I was trying to look for words, I said to the lady that I was extremely sorry to hear that she lost her son.

I then went on to ask the lady why he was in Intensive Care and why he died?

The lady said that her son had heart disease and that he was on ECMO. According to the lady the Intensive Care team had told her that despite ECMO they couldn’t save her son’s life and he died.

I was about to say that ECMO could lead to a heart transplant and I decided not to mention it, as the lady might not have been ready for this.

I asked the lady how long ago her six year old son died in Intensive Care and she said “a couple of weeks ago”.

More silence.

I’m no stranger dealing with difficult situations when it comes to Intensive Care, critical illness and end of life situations.

I have also worked with critically ill children in the past in Intensive Care, but for no longer than 12 months at the time, therefore I wouldn’t consider myself an expert on critically ill children.

However, I have a good basic understanding, given that I worked in a paediatric ICU for about 12 months more than 10 years ago!

Talking to someone who has just lost their six year old child in ICU wasn’t easy to swallow.

I probed a little more and I asked how long her child was in Intensive Care for and she said for about four weeks.

The lady then went on to say “I have found your website today… if I had known…”

More silence.

I asked the lady whether her boy was in an induced coma while he was on ECMO and the lady said “what exactly is an induced coma?”

Related article/video:

WHAT IS AN INDUCED COMA AND WHY IS MY CRITICALLY ILL LOVED ONE IN AN INDUCED COMA?

I said to the lady that I couldn’t explain to her in two minutes what an induced coma was, however I have numerous articles and videos on the website about induced coma and that I would send her some links to the articles and videos.

I sensed that despite her composure she was still in deep shock about the loss of her child.

I could barely fathom what emotional trauma this lady must have experienced in the last few weeks.

I have been in numerous end-of life situations in adult Intensive Care and I am no stranger to emotional pain and suffering as well as to the mourning when it comes to people losing their loved ones in ICU. I have lost my uncle at the age of 51 in Intensive Care when I was a teenager…

I am by no means an expert when it comes to a mother losing her child.

It must be one of the most horrific ordeals one can experience!

Here’s the thing.

When your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care, whether it’s a child, a brother, a sister, a spouse, a parent, an uncle, an aunt or even a friend, do yourself and your family a favour and get as much information as you can!

There is enough free information on my website here so that you can do as much research as you like in order to get a good understanding of what’s going on with your critically ill loved one!

Does it entail work or investment of time? Probably.

Do you have to learn new things in a short period of time? Probably.

Is it worth it?

More than likely!

Mourning the loss of a loved one is very painful and it’s not pleasant. Mourning the loss of a child is even worse…

Finding out afterwards that you could have made informed decisions, get peace of mind, get control, power and influence quickly and therefore get input into care and treatment is even more painful, especially if you find out that you could have had the right mostly free information and resources at your disposal!

Sitting on the sidelines can be a recipe for disaster!

Doing your own research, spending time on learning to ask the right questions and getting some professional help is way less expensive, time consuming and way less painful then finding out afterwards that there could have been things that you could have done…

Thinking that you can passively sit and wait for things to unfold can be a recipe for disaster.

Leaving the life of your loved one purely in the hands of the Intensive Care team may or may not be the right approach… the choice is yours…

Therefore, do yourself, your family and your critically ill loved one a favour, do your own research, start asking the right questions, and most of all make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence!

Would this lady have been in a position to safe her son’s life if she had done her own research and if she would have started to ask the right questions?

I don’t know…

What I do know however is that if this lady would have done her own timely research, if she would have subscribed to my email newsletter and if she would have browsed the intensivecarehotline.com website for free information, she would have found a lot of useful information and it would have opened her eyes to start asking the right questions!

There is no doubt in my mind that this lady would have felt that she would have made informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence… no matter the outcome!

Change of scenery

I had a horrifying email this week from a reader telling me that her partner died in Intensive Care a couple of months ago.

The email detailed how badly the Intensive Care Unit treated her and her loved one from the start until her partner died a couple of weeks after being first admitted to ICU.

In the email the reader described how the Intensive Care team treated her partner without listening to her as her partner’s advocate during her partner’s stay in ICU.

Related article/video:

Who’s the better advocate for your critically ill loved one, you or the Intensive Care team?

On the day when our reader’s partner died, the Intensive Care team didn’t even inform our reader and rather confronted her with the fact that her loved one is about to die and that they are taking preparations for it to happen later in the day.

During the last few hours of her partner’s life our reader details that she was even sent away from her loved one’s bedside so that the “doctors and nurses can do their thing.”

Our reader was therefore only able to spend a few minutes with her loved one before they passed away.

Recommended:

THE 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF THE MEDICAL TEAM IN INTENSIVE CARE WANTS TO “LIMIT TREATMENT”, WANTS TO “WITHDRAW TREATMENT” OR “WITHDRAW LIFE SUPPORT” OR WANTS TO ISSUE A “DNR” (DO NOT RESUSCITATE) OR AN “NFR” (NOT FOR RESUSCITATION) ORDER FOR YOUR CRITICALLY ILL LOVED ONE!

In the email our reader details how one of the nurses was actually telling her “that you shouldn’t worry too much, because I was able to hold your partner’s hand while you weren’t there…”

In the meantime, the Intensive Care team was withdrawing treatment and withdrawing life support from our reader’s partner without actually explaining to our reader and their family what was happening, let alone discussing the process!

Our reader’s partner was 55 years of age… not very old.

Now, if you still think that if your critically ill loved one is either

very unstable and in a very critical condition

in a life threatening situation

not “waking up” after an induced coma

in Intensive Care for long-term treatments and long-term stays (including long-term ventilation)

having a severe(traumatic) head or brain injury

threatened with an “NFR”(Not for resuscitation) or “DNR”(Do not resuscitate) order

In a situation where the Intensive Care team suggests a “withdrawal of treatment” or a “limitation of treatment” as being “in the best interest” for your critically ill loved one

approaching their end of life in Intensive Care

that you can afford to passively watch an event go by and become a victim of these circumstances, without doing your own research, without knowing what questions you need to ask and worst of all, by blindly putting your faith into the Intensive Care team, think again!

If you want to make informed decisions, get peace of mind, get control, get power and get influence quickly, you have enough free information at hand here at my blog. More than enough to get you started.

More than enough to get you started so that you don’t become a victim!

Even if the Intensive Care team is doing all the right things, you still want to have a good understanding about what they are doing and you want to be in a position to question things if you need to.

How much better do you feel if you know you have done everything you could have done within your power when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care, even if they are dying?

It makes a big difference… for your own sake and your own sanity…

It’s the minimum you owe to yourself and your family.

How can you become the best advocate for your critically ill loved one, make informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence quickly, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?

You get to that all important feeling of making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below!

In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to make informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below!

In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care!

In your FREE report you’ll also discover

How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
5 mind blowing tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)

Thank you for tuning into this week’s BLOG and I’ll see you again in another update next week!

Make sure you also check out our “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” section where I answer your questions or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!

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Also check out our Ebook section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 counselling with me via Skype or over the phone and via email by clicking on the email and phone counselling tabs on the top of the website!

This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!