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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can make informed decisions, have peace of mind, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
In last week’s blog I talked about the third and last part of the intensivecarehotline.com 3-Part mini-series
Critical lessons for families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, Part 3
And in the last topic of the intensivecarehotline.com mini- series I talked about
You can check out last week’s blog by clicking on the link here.
In this week’s blog I want to share with you
“5 things you need to do when you’re not present when the doctors are making crucial decisions when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!”
Before I get into today’s topic, I want to share a quote with you that I wrote on today’s topic and the quote says
“When your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care it’s nothing short of you being in a “once in a lifetime” situation and “once in a lifetime” challenge!
Research has shown that having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care is one of the most stressful life events you can ever experience. It ranks in the top 3 of the most stressful life events!
And because you are so far outside of your comfort zone already, you don’t need the added stress of not knowing what the doctors and the nurses are talking about when you are not around, let alone you and your family not being present when major decisions- including life or death decisions- are being made!
Live or die, get better or worse, get out of Intensive Care or not, have surgery or don’t have surgery, have a CT scan or don’t have a CT scan, the list goes on and on…
The bottom line is that all these decisions are being made by the Intensive Care team without you being present most of the time…
It’s a big challenge for families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care and the Intensive Care team doesn’t really care whether you are present or not when crucial decisions about your critically ill loved one’s life, health and possible future(or lack of such) are being made…
Your job is to go the extra mile, inform yourself what’s really happening in Intensive Care and get help from people who know Intensive Care inside out and who know what you need to know in order to make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence quickly!
At the end of the day it’s your critically ill loved one’s life and you and your family can’t afford to let other people make crucial “life or death” decisions, period!
So let’s get into today’s topic.
Many readers of my blog come to me and say that one of their biggest frustrations is that they feel left out when the doctors are making crucial decisions when it comes to the care and treatment of their critically ill loved one.
And as you can imagine this includes life and death decisions as well!
One of the things that you may have picked up by now is that most Intensive Care teams sit on a pretty high pedestal when it comes to communicating with you and your family, if they communicate at all.
The reasons for Intensive Care teams sitting on a pretty high pedestal are manyfold, including 99% of families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care buying into the Intensive Care team’s “perceived power” and “perceived authority” and not challenging the status quo!
Think about this for a minute, if your critically ill loved one is in one of the following situations in Intensive Care such as when they are
in those challenging, difficult and heartbreaking situations do you and your family want to be left out when it comes to crucial and important decisions about care, treatment and life or death?
The fact of the matter is that if you are like 99% of the families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who don’t make informed decisions, who don’t have peace of mind, who don’t have power, don’t have control and don’t have influence you keep putting “blind faith” into the Intensive Care team, you don’t question, you don’t challenge the “perceived power” and the “perceived authority” of the Intensive Care team and you are basically just a passive bystander of a “once in a lifetime” challenge that you know you can’t afford to get wrong!!!
However I don’t want to dwell on what 99% of the families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care don’t do, but rather give you some strategies that actually work so that you know what you need to do so that you can make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence!
Before I go on and actually give you the strategies, you may wonder what makes me qualified to know what strategies work and which one’s don’t…
Why do I know what to do in those situations?
After more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries, where I literally worked with thousands of critically ill Patients and their families and where I also worked as a Nurse Unit Manager in Intensive Care for more than 5 years, I have literally seen the difference between the very few families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who make informed decisions, who get peace of mind, control, power and influence, compared to the 99% of families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who don’t… I also constantly consult families in Intensive Care and I speak to them daily…
I know what works and what doesn’t… and here are
“5 things you need to do when you’re not present when the doctors are making crucial decisions when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!”
- Question everything
When your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care you need to question everything! You need to question what the Intensive Care team is doing, what they are not doing, the way they are communicating with you and how they communicate-if they communicate at all- and you need to question every assumption that gets thrown at you from the Intensive Care team!
Sooner or later you will find out that “what you see is not what you get” in Intensive Care…
- Ask better questions and take full responsibility for the results you are getting
The 99% of families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who don’t make informed decisions, who don’t have peace of mind, who don’t have power, who don’t have control and don’t have influence tend to ask no questions. They trust and follow the Intensive Care team blindly…
I cringe when I write these lines, because I get angry and frustrated when I watch those passive and naïve families…
The good news is that you are here reading this and that means you are already 5 steps ahead of these families…
In order to make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence you need to know what questions to ask and once armed with the knowledge of what questions you need to ask you also need to take full responsibility for the results that you are getting or not getting…
If you don’t know what questions you need to ask you are basically letting the Intensive Care team run the show, drive the bus so to speak…
You couldn’t have come to a better place to learn first- hand what questions you need to ask, how you need to position yourself and your critically ill loved one correctly and by doing that you can get the results that you want for your critically ill loved one…
You can learn what questions you need to ask by browsing this website with all of our many free and paid resources. Even if you don’t have the money to buy some of our information products, there are plenty of free blogs and videos about strategies that work.
There is also the “Your questions answered” section where you can discover what it takes to make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence!
Of course the quickest way to make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence is when you talk to me directly via email or phone/ Skype, however there is plenty of free information on this website…
Recommended(click on the links):
- Look “behind the scenes” in Intensive Care and pay close attention
If you are not looking “behind the scenes” in Intensive Care you might as well walk into Intensive Care blindfolded…
You don’t know what you don’t know…
Why do I say this? The reason I say this is all too obvious.
Why do you and so many other families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care feel like the doctors and the Intensive Care team is making crucial decisions, including “life or death” decisions when you are not there?
Exactly, you guessed it, it’s because they don’t want you around when they are making those crucial decisions.
Not only do they think that they are “smart” enough to make “life or death” decisions without talking to you, they are sitting on such a high pedestal of “perceived power” and “perceived authority” that they often think it’s beyond them to talk to a family of a Patient that’s critically ill…
They often look at a critically ill Patient as “a medical case” and they don’t look at Patients as real people. It’s easier to suggest “to withdraw treatment”, to “withdraw life support”, to issue an “NFR”(Not for resuscitation) order or a “DNR”(Do not resuscitate) order when they are thinking about “a medical case” and not a person or Patient…
But you need to really understand and look into what’s happening “behind the scenes” in Intensive Care, because it is so powerful that it always impacts on how the Intensive Care team is positioning your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis, their prognosis, as well as their care and their treatment given or not given!
It’s powerful stuff and don’t say that I haven’t warned you…
Recommended:
- Become difficult and demanding
This is one of my favourite strategies.
As I have said to you before, 99% of the families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care make no informed decisions, they have no peace of mind, no power, no control and no influence.
In fact they are falling all over themselves to “suck up” and give in to the “perceived power” and the “perceived authority” of the Intensive Care team.
Becoming “difficult and demanding” is the last thing on their mind.
I am not suggesting that you should be rude to people, however something has to be said about standing up for your critically ill loved one, for demanding answers, asking the Intensive Care team to be transparent and most of all, include you and your family in this crucial decision making process.
Most of the families that I teach this strategy when it’s appropriate- and if you feel like the doctors and the Intensive Care team are making crucial “life or death” decisions when you are not around, becoming “difficult and demanding” is appropriate- tell me that it’s the best thing I have told them because it takes the Intensive Care team off their high pedestal of “perceived power” and “perceived authority”.
If you mix becoming “difficult and demanding” with asking the right questions and take the Intensive Care team off their high pedestal of “perceived power” and “perceived authority” you have powerful ingredients and it takes the Intensive Care team off guard because they are so used to families in Intensive Care “sucking up” to them…
- Become an advocate and get an unfair advantage
Most Intensive Care teams claim that they are an advocate for your critically ill loved one. I call BS on this ad they are only an advocate as long as it suits their hidden agenda.
The minute their agenda changes- and agendas can change very quickly in Intensive Care, depending on what’s happening “behind the scenes” and depending on what’s happening with other Patients and families in Intensive Care- Intensive Care teams go back to making decisions that suit them and not you or your critically ill loved one.
The truth of the matter is that whichever decisions they are making, they will always tell you that the decision is “in the best interest” for your critically ill loved one…
Really? What if the Intensive Care team is suggesting to “withdraw treatment” or to “limit treatment”? What if they want to issue an “NFR”(Not for resuscitation) or “DNR” (Do not resuscitate) order?
What if they only want to use certain treatments for a limited time only, because they want to limit using resources and rather use it for another Patient who has a family who knows what to do and asks the right questions?
The reality and the fact of the matter is that you need to quickly become your critically ill loved one’s advocate, because only you and your family have the best interest of your critically ill loved one at heart.
If you do your own research, if you start asking the right questions and if you immerse yourself into what I teach you get a real unfair advantage, you’ll stand out from the crowd and the Intensive Care team will treat you and your critically ill loved one differently.
Don’t do your own research, don’t ask the right questions and keep buying into the Intensive Care team’s “perceived power” and “perceived authority” and you’ll wind up like 99% of the families of critically ill Patients who don’t have…
Let’s not go there.
How can you become the best advocate for your critically ill loved one and make informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence quickly, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
You get to that all important feeling of making informed decisions, PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below!
In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below!
In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 mind blowing tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s BLOG and I’ll see you again in another update next week!
Make sure you also check out our “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” section where I answer your questions or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
Or you can call us! Find phone numbers on our contact tab.
Also check out our Ebook section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 counselling with me via Skype or over the phone and via email by clicking on the email and phone counselling tabs on the top of the website!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!
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Patrik Hutzel
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