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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can make informed decisions, have peace of mind, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
In the last blog I talked about
You can check out last week’s blog by clicking on the link here.
In this week’s blog I want to talk about
5 things the Intensive Care team hasn’t told you when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!
Before I get into today’s topic I want to share a quote with you that I wrote on today’s topic and the quote says
Critical illness in Intensive Care is very rarely clear cut, black or white or a “what you see is what you get” situation!
At first you might think that the Intensive Care team is in control of the situation.
And they are in control of the situation in terms of what they say, how they say it, when they say it and what they don’t say!
The Intensive Care team is also in control of their agenda first and foremost that at first you and your family have absolutely no clue about!
Most families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are not in control of their agenda and of the outcomes that they want!
99% of the families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care also don’t know how to make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence and they remain at the mercy of the Intensive Care team!
Not knowing what to expect, not knowing how to deal with the stress, the unexpected challenges and not knowing what questions you need to ask are the biggest challenges and the biggest risks for families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care to get what they want!
What’s probably worse is that 99% of the families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care don’t even know that they can have what they want, make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence if they knew what to do and where to start.
It’s therefore absolutely necessary and crucial that you and your family know what to do, know what questions you need to ask and how to challenge the “perceived power” and the “perceived authority” of the Intensive Care team!
It’s critical that you and your family take a look “behind the scenes” in Intensive Care so that you know and understand what’s really happening so that you are armed for all eventualities, so that you can make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence!
Let’s get into today’s topic!
Intensive Care teams can be extremely shrewd and very adept when it comes to getting what they want when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!
Whilst you and your family are struggling to come to terms with the critical illness of your loved one, the Intensive Care team usually has their plan mapped out from the get go to communicate with you and the rest of your family!
Therefore, the Intensive Care team’s aim is to stay in control of the communications at all times, stay in control of the outcomes and also stay in control of the meaning during this “once in a lifetime” situation that you know you can’t afford to be getting wrong!
Related article/video:
Therefore the Intensive Care team is usually extremely guarded in how much information they reveal to you and your family, knowing that most families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care don’t question the “perceived power” and the “perceived authority” of the Intensive Care team!
It’s absolutely critical for you and your family to look “behind the scenes” in Intensive Care and get a feel for what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
Knowing what questions you need to ask, doing your own research, looking at what the Intensive Care team is doing and what they are not doing will help you to make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence!
Intensive Care teams will always be guarded in their attempts to work with families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, because there is way too much at stake in this multi-Billion Dollar $$$ per year industry that is Intensive Care!
It’s therefore your and your family’s job to get the outcomes that you want, irrespective of the challenges that you and your family are facing!
Let’s therefore look at 5 things the Intensive Care team hasn’t told you when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!
1) The Intensive Care team has a hidden agenda that goes way beyond your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis and prognosis!
As I said in the beginning, when you are having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care, very rarely is it a “what you see is what you get” situation!
I always argue that 99% of the families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care don’t make informed decisions, don’t have peace of mind, don’t have control, don’t have power and don’t have any influence whatsoever!
Especially when your critically ill loved one is either
the stakes are extremely high for you, for your family and also for the Intensive Care team!
Therefore, the Intensive Care team will not reveal more to you than they need to.
Unless you have done your own research and unless you and your family know what questions you need to ask!
Knowing what questions you need to ask is a game changer and it usually flips the power over in your favour!
The fact of the matter is that Intensive Care teams have their own often hidden agendas that go way beyond your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis and prognosis!
Related article/video:
Intensive Care teams have no interest in giving you the full picture and giving you all the alternatives available to you when your loved one is battling one of the difficult and challenging situations that I mentioned before!
There is way too much at stake for the Intensive Care team and there are way too many things happening “behind the scenes” in Intensive Care that you and your family have no clue about!
Therefore the Intensive Care team will continue to drive their mainly hidden agenda when your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care and if you don’t challenge, if you don’t know what questions you need to ask and if you are feeling intimidated by the Intensive Care team, it’ll be easy for them to continuously drive their mainly hidden agenda and not your agenda!
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If you are unaware that medical research, the politics, the battle for limited resources, the hierarchies, the psychology and the intrigue is often what’s driving the Intensive Care team to position your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis, their prognosis as well their care and treatment in a way that suits the Intensive Care team’s agenda, you and your family are doomed.
Keep your eyes open. Question everything, have clear goals and outcomes that you want to achieve and hold the Intensive Care team accountable.
99% of the families in Intensive Care don’t hold the Intensive Care team accountable and that’s why they don’t achieve their goals!
Related article/video:
2)The Intensive Care team will seize you up and they know very quickly how much they’ll get away with!
This is one of my favourite ones. You really need to know about this if you want to stand a chance with the Intensive Care team.
Intensive Care teams can be very judgemental and they tend to seize you and your family up and down to make a judgement in how much you may or may not know about the critical illness of your loved one and also about how much you know about Intensive Care.
The fact of the matter is that Intensive Care teams often assume that if you don’t know anything about Intensive Care and that therefore it’ll be easy for them to get what they want and leave you and your family out of the loop when it comes to making big and also often death or life decisions!
And you can trust me on this one I have seen it over and over again in more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries where I literally worked with thousands of critically ill Patients and their families!
I have also spent working more than 5 years as a Nurse Unit Manager in Intensive Care and I have a very good understanding and almost intimate knowledge in how Intensive Care teams tick and operate.
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3) Intensive Care teams tend to be overtly negative and often paint a “doom and gloom” picture!
Now, if your critically ill loved one is in one of those difficult and challenging situations that I mentioned before, it’s very easy for the Intensive Care team to sit down with you and tell you all about how bad things are looking and that it’s all “doom and gloom”!
Many if not most families in Intensive Care are shocked by this positioning from the Intensive Care team and they never see it coming.
Again, it all boils down to the Intensive Care team not wanting to give away their power and wanting to stay in control of the interactions!
If the Intensive Care team is negative and is painting a “doom and gloom” picture from the start it’ll be so much easier to drive their mainly hidden agenda!
It’ll also be so much easier for the Intensive Care team limit or withdraw treatment or issue a DNR(Do not resuscitate) or NFR(Not for resuscitation) order if they are negative from the start!
Being negative only helps the Intensive Care team and their positioning not yours!
Your job is to stay positive in the face of adversity, start asking the right questions, do your own research and question the Intensive Care team’s negativity!
You often can’t control or change what happens to you in life, but you are in control of how you react!
Therefore the meaning you attach to what’s happening to you and your critically ill loved one is something you need to stay in control of!
Related article/ video:
4)If your critically ill loved one isn’t improving, the Intensive Care team is counting the dollars (and beds)
This leads me to dive deeper into why Intensive Care teams are often overtly negative when it comes to the critical illness of your loved one!
As I mentioned before, Intensive Care is a multi-Billion $$$ Dollar industry per year and Intensive Care teams are counting the $$$ Dollars!
If they think that your critically ill loved one’s stay in Intensive Care isn’t helping their financial budget or if they think that your critically ill loved one is blocking a precious, expensive and “in-demand” Intensive Care bed, chances are that they won’t be telling you in your face!
You always, always have to read between the lines when it comes to your loved one’s stay in Intensive Care!
If the Intensive Care team has big decisions to make, they usually sit down behind closed doors or they do a ward round without you and then they’ll invite you to a well scripted family meeting, which is the ultimate display of the “perceived power” and the “perceived authority” of the Intensive Care team!
In those family meetings, the Intensive Care team usually delivers the bad news disguised that it’s all “in the best interest” for your critically ill loved one to withdraw or limit treatment and/or life support!
What they haven’t told you is that they don’t want to invest anymore financial, equipment as well as emotional resources to give your critically ill loved one a better chance!
Intensive Care teams can be extremely shrewd and adept when it comes to “selling” you and your family on a “withdrawal of treatment”, a “limitation of life support” and/or a DNR or NFR order!
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5)The Intensive Care team knows what to say, how to say it, when to say it and what not to say
As I said before, Intensive Care teams use those family meetings to deliver bad news and they use those family meetings to consciously or unconsciously demonstrate their “perceived power” and their “perceived authority”!
The Intensive Care team has family meetings well scripted and they know what to say, they know how to say it, they know when to say it and they know what not to say.
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They also know that during a family meeting you and your family will feel a certain amount of gratitude towards the Intensive Care team for what they have done so far and the Intensive Care team will take advantage of your gratitude to get what they want!
If you are unaware of the Psychology at play during a family meeting with the Intensive Care team you will stand no chance to get what you and your family want!
So don’t be like 99% of the families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care! Start asking the right questions, do your own research and start making informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence!
How can you become the best advocate for your critically ill loved one, make informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence quickly, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
You get to that all important feeling of making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below!
In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to make informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below!
In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 mind blowing tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s BLOG and I’ll see you again in another update next week!
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This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!