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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we INSTANTLY improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
In last week’s BLOG I’ve talked about
“STARING INTO THE ABYSS OF DEATH WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!”
You can check out last week’s BLOG by clicking on the link here.
In this week’s BLOG I want to share with you
“WHY ‘TRUTH’ CAN BE A THIN CONCEPT WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!”
Before I get into today’s topic I want to share a quote that I wrote on today’s topic and the quote says
“The ‘truth’ in a challenging, difficult and heartbreaking situation is often not dependent on circumstances. The ‘truth’ in a difficult and challenging situation is often dependent on the meaning of a situation and the meaning we attribute to it!
Unfortunately all too often, Families in Intensive Care listen to the ‘expert’ view of the Intensive Care team, without second guessing their views and opinions and without doing their own research.
Families in Intensive Care are too carried away by their emotions and by the “perceived power” and by the “perceived authority” of the Intensive Care team without looking for their own ‘truth’!
‘Truth’ can be a very thin concept, especially when it comes to the critical illness of your loved one and families in Intensive Care should never underestimate their own level of power, control and influence if they have the right information at hand, if they continue standing up for what they believe in and if they challenge the assumptions of “expert” teams.”
If your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care and is facing one of those challenging and difficult situations where they are either
- very unstable and in a very critical condition
- in a life threatening situation
- in Intensive Care for long-term treatments and long-term stays
- having a severe(traumatic) head or brain injury
- threatened with an “NFR”(Not for resuscitation) or “DNR”(Do not resuscitate) order
- In a situation where the Intensive Care team suggests a “withdrawal of treatment” or a “limitation of treatment” as being “in the best interest” of your critically ill loved one
- approaching their end of life in Intensive Care
sooner or later you and your family are facing the “truth” of the situation!
And if you are like 99% of families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care you are facing the “expert truth” of the Intensive Care team!
This “expert truth” of the Intensive Care team will give you the facts and the figures and it’ll always give you their “expert” view of what needs to be done!
This often involves a one sided communication style that most of the time doesn’t leave you with much of a choice.
There is little room for discussions as the Intensive Care team is trying to “sell” you their ‘truth’ to you!
This often happens in Family meetings with an often overly domineering Intensive Care team!
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After all they are the “experts” and they must know what’s best, right?
And if you and your family are like 99% of families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, who have no PEACE OF MIND, no power, no control and no influence you go along with the “expert truth” of the Intensive Care team…
You will just ‘nod’ everything off what they say without second guessing.
Very few families in Intensive Care are actually willing and able to challenge the ‘truth’ of the Intensive Care team…
It’s often because they are driven by their negative emotions, they buy into the “doom and gloom” and the negativity of the Intensive Care team and they have absolutely no idea that the ‘truth’ of the Intensive Care team is often driven by what’s happening “BEHIND THE SCENES” in Intensive Care and it’s often driven by
- the Intensive Care team’s financial ($$$) interests and their ($$$) financial budget constraints
- their bed management interests, i.e. would continue treating your critically ill loved one block a bed for other critically ill Patients that the Intensive Care team perceives to be of higher interest in treating them?
- Their medical research interests, i.e. can your loved one be enrolled in a medical research study while they are being treated in Intensive Care? If they can be enrolled in a medical research study- that attracts 5, 6 or even 7 figure funding ($$$) per year- they may get preferred treatment and if they can’t be enrolled in a medical research study they may not get preferred treatment and the Intensive Care team may therefore be overtly negative in your loved one’s prognosis and diagnosis… if on the other hand your loved one can be enrolled in a medical research study, they may get prolonged treatment even though your loved one is inevitably dying and suffering may be unnecessarily prolonged…
Your job is to get to the bottom of your ‘truth’ irrespective of what the Intensive Care team is telling you!
What is your own ‘truth’?
Your job is to do your own research, no matter the situation you are dealing with in this once in a lifetime situation that you can’t afford to get wrong!
And I can assure you that in more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries, where I also worked as a Nurse Unit Manager in Intensive Care for more than 5 years, I have seen over and over again that the Families in Intensive Care who attributed their own ‘truth’ to a situation and challenge, irrespective of the “expert” opinions and “expert” views of the Intensive Care team, those Families had PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence!
I can assure you that Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who lived and stood up for their own ‘truth’ no matter the odds, often get preferred treatment for their loved ones!
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I’ll give you a real world example so that you know what I’m talking about here
A 72 year old man that I looked after a few years ago got admitted to Intensive Care after open heart surgery. On the same day after he got admitted to Intensive Care he had a cardiac arrest and he had to be resuscitated for more than 30 minutes.
The gentleman survived his cardiac arrest and he ended up with an open chest for a few days. He also sustained a stroke and he went into kidney failure over the next few days.
He was obviously placed in an induced coma and on a ventilator and he required numerous drugs to keep him alive…
Cutting a long story short, the Intensive Care team was trying to “sell” to the family of this 72 year old man that a “withdrawal of treatment” and a “withdrawal of life support” would be in the “best interest” of their critically ill loved one.
The Intensive Care team wanted to issue a “DNR” (Do not resuscitate) or “NFR” (Not for resuscitation) order quickly!
The Intensive Care team in essence was trying to “sell” their ‘truth’ to the family…
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The family was very different from the other 99% of families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who have no PEACE OF MIND, no control, no power and no influence and immediately challenged the Intensive Care team’s assumptions and ‘truth’ and they immediately said that their critically ill loved one is strong, is a fighter and will survive the ordeal.
The family was adamant that their critically ill loved one can deal with adversity, setbacks and challenges and that they wouldn’t have it any other way but to continue treatment!
The Intensive Care team, was using pressure and they were using their “expert” status as well as their “perceived power” and their “perceived authority” to coerce the family to agree to a “withdrawal of treatment” and to a “withdrawal of life support” as they are obviously the only ones who know what is “best”…
The family stood up for what they believed in and they were ready to get their loved one transferred to another hospital and it was only then that the Intensive Care team realised that they were dealing with a powerful family who is very different from the 99% of the families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who would just go along with whatever the Intensive Care team suggests!
Again, with this man in particular, the Intensive Care team didn’t want to invest the time, the money as well as the physical and emotional resources it took to get this man to live! The Intensive Care team also knew that this man would block a bed for other potentially sick Intensive Care Patients for a long time to come…
The family knew better and wouldn’t budge! And after about three months in ICU, the man eventually got discharged to the ward after a long battle for his life and well-being!
However it paid off, the family and the man himself were most grateful for his survival.
They lived their ‘truth’ and they wouldn’t have it any other way. They weren’t intimidated by the “perceived power” and by the “perceived authority” of the Intensive Care team and they would just stand up for what they believed in, without worrying about any repercussions!
They made meaning out of this dire and challenging situation and they started to manage the Intensive Care team and they reaped the results!
The Family stood their ground knowing all too well what the interests of the Intensive Care team really were and they positioned themselves accordingly and powerfully, irrespective of the Intensive Care team’s “hidden agenda”!
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The Family’s ‘truth’ was stronger than the ‘truth’ of the Intensive Care team and it‘s a good example that if they can do it that you can do it too!
How do you do that? How can you get YOUR OWN truth quickly and get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
You get to that all important feeling of PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below!
In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below!
In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 “killer” tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s “BLOG” and I’ll see you again in another update next week!
Make sure you also check out our “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” section where we answer your questions or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
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Also check out our Products section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 consulting with me by clicking on the products tab!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!
your Friend
Patrik Hutzel
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