Quick Tip for Families in Intensive Care: My Mother in ICU Passed Away After I Signed a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) in Good Faith! I Think it was a Mistake!

If you want to know if you should sign a DNR for your loved one in ICU, stay tuned. I have news for you.

So today, I want to talk again about DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) orders or NFR (Not for Resuscitation) orders in intensive care. So, I have an email from Sabrina who recently lost her mom in ICU, and she actually wrote us what happened when she lost her mom in ICU recently.

She sends a lengthy email but I’m not going into everything that she says, but she says,

“I apologize for the lengthy response. The situation with my mom in ICU has been very traumatic. We also put her on a DNR a couple of days before she passed away and we believe the ICU team speed things up because they wanted the ICU bed. We held on for almost two weeks. We put her on the DNR because of her size. We feel as though it would have done more damage than good.”

Well, here’s my thing. I’ve made countless of videos over the years like you should never ever, ever, ever agree to a DNR to your loved one or an NFR unless your loved one wants that. You as a proxy, or a next of kin, or a power of attorney, or a guardian, you should never sign a DNR or an NFR unless you have authority from your loved one who can’t make decisions for themselves.

Because that is what happens, the ICU teams often then wind things down without telling you. You can’t read the signs because you’re not a medical professional, and you’re following blindly. You cannot follow blindly.

The biggest challenge for families in intensive care is simply that they don’t know what they don’t know. They don’t know what to look for. They don’t know what questions to ask. They don’t know their rights and they don’t know how to manage doctors and nurses in intensive care.

99.9% of families in intensive care are running towards the fire, and they don’t know what’s happening. So, never ever, under any circumstances, sign a DNR or an NFR exactly for the reasons that Sabrina so generously shared with us here. That’s what ICUs do, unfortunately.

So, there’s often a lot of pressure, no one can force you to sign a DNR. It is a choice and control for you as a family and then the ICU has to offer the best care and treatment always. Because this is what happens, a DNR is often the first step towards end-of-life care. Therefore, do not agree to it no matter what, no matter the circumstances.

I have worked in critical care for nearly 25 years in three different countries where I worked as a nurse manager for over 5 years in critical care. I’ve been consulting and advocating for families in intensive care since 2013 here at intensivecarehotline.com.

You can verify the work that we’ve done with our clients on our testimonial section at intensivecarehotline.com or on our podcast section at intensivecarehotline.com where we have testimonials and even video interviews with our clients. We have saved many lives for our clients in intensive care.

We have actually removed many DNRs with our consulting and advocacy simply by knowing patients’ rights inside out and also by knowing how to advocate, and that often includes a medical record review as well.

That’s also why we created a membership for families of critically ill patients in intensive care. You can become a member if you go to intensivecarehotline.com, if you click on the membership link or if you go to intensivecaresupport.org directly. In the membership, you have access to me and my team, 24 hours a day, in the membership area and via email and we answer all questions intensive care related.

In the membership, you also have exclusive access to 21 e-books, 21 videos that I’ve personally written and recorded, sharing all my two and a half worth decades of ICU nursing experience with our clients making sure, once again, you make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, and influence so that you can make in influence decision making fast when you have a loved one in intensive care, making sure they get best care and treatment.

I also do one-on-one consulting and advocacy over the phone, Zoom, WhatsApp, Skype, or whichever medium works best for you. I talk to you and your families directly. I talk to doctors and nurses directly. I handhold you through the process of when you have a loved one, critically ill in intensive care because it’s a once-in-a-lifetime situation you can’t afford getting it wrong. You simply can’t. When I talk to doctors and nurses directly. I ask all the questions that you haven’t even considered asking but must be asked when you have a loved one, critically ill in intensive care. I also represent you in family meetings with intensive care teams.

We also do medical record reviews in real-time so that you can get a second opinion in real-time. We also do medical record reviews after intensive care if you have unanswered questions, if you need closure, or if you are suspecting medical negligence.

All of that, you get at intensivecarehotline.com. Call us on one of the numbers on the top of our website or send us an email to [email protected] with your questions.

If you like my videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel for regular updates for families of critically ill patients in intensive care, click the like button, click the notification bell, share the video with your friends and families, comment below what you want to see next, what questions and insights you have.

I also do a weekly YouTube live where I answer your questions live on a show. You will get a notification for the YouTube live if you are a subscriber to my YouTube channel or if you are a subscriber to our email us at intensivecarehotline.com.

If you want your email read out in a couple of days, leave a donation here at the super chat button or leave a donation anyway to support our work and then I will read out your email in the next couple of days and get your questions answered there.

Thank you so much for watching.

This is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com and I will talk to you in a few days.

Take care for now.

Related Articles:

Quick tip for families in ICU: You are 100% in control of how you respond to the challenges! Quick Tip for Families in Intensive Care: How to Handle my Wife’s Setbacks in ICU After Day 70! Quick Tip for Families in Intensive Care: My 68-year-old Dad had a Pulmonary Embolus (PE), He had Thrombolytics, Followed by a Hemorrhagic Stroke, Help! Quick Tip for Families in Intensive Care: Ventilator Removal vs Tracheostomy on My Dad Who Has Passed Spontaneous Breathing Trials! 2nd Discharge to LTAC from ICU, the Madness Continues! Quick Tip for Families in Intensive Care!