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If you want to know how to be more assertive and getting what you want when you have a loved one in intensive care, stay tuned. I’ve got news for you today.

My name is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com with another quick tip for families in intensive care.

I’ve got an email here from Smither who says,

“Hi Patrik,

One thing I regularly see when a family is more assertive in intensive care and life support remains, the doctors always say, “We must wait and see. There is a reluctance to prognosticate with a survivor of brain injury.”

When the decision is being made, however, there is often pressure on the family with very definite statements of survival being impossible and hopeless. Some families acquiesce to the doctors and some assert that efforts should remain in place. In some of the more ambiguous cases, survival has occurred. I think that the doctors absolutely test the result of families where it could go either way.”

Well, thank you Smither for your email. I presume you might be working in the industry as well. You might be working as a nurse or might have some insights into ICU as well.

I have worked in critical care for nearly 25 years in three different countries where I also worked as a nurse manager for over 5 years in intensive care. I’ve been consulting and advocating for families in intensive care together with my team here at intensivecarehotline.com since 2013.

We have saved many lives for families in intensive care and for our clients. You can verify that on our testimonial section as well as on our podcast section where we have done some client interviews. So again, thank you, Smither, for writing in and for sharing your insights.

Well, reality is, to a degree, it is a game of assertiveness. Intensive care teams can be very assertive, and they are also very good at pretending they can do whatever they want. Well, intensive care and palliative care and end of life care and decision making never happens in a vacuum. Keep that in mind. However, intensive care teams often pretend that their decision making happens in a vacuum, that they can do whatever they want until you challenge them, and that’s when things change.

Also, in a situation like this, where maybe there is a brain injury in ICU. The reality is that once you give in to withdraw treatment and let your loved one die, you know the outcome. Everyone has told you what the outcome is going to be.

If you don’t agree to a withdrawal of treatment and you want everything to be done, you don’t know the outcome. But the reality also is your loved one will have a chance where there’s life, there’s hope.

Especially when there’s doom and gloom from intensive care teams when they’re telling you, “Oh, your loved one won’t survive”, which they often do, and every day your loved one does survive. You have to also question their clinical judgment. Every day your loved one is surviving, if they’re telling you, they won’t, well, what’s wrong with their predictions?

So, my advice here is that you should never give up, until you think, “Ok, this is not where we want to go. Maybe we should give up here, but you have to put your best foot forward and, in many circumstances, not in all, there’s a lot of good things happening in ICU as well. But in many circumstances, the ICU team isn’t putting their best foot forward often because they don’t have enough staff, they don’t have enough beds, and that’s when they tell you, “Oh, you’re critically loved one, we should withdraw treatment because they won’t have any perceived “quality of life.”

What is quality of life anyway? It’s just a perception. It’s not up to intensive care teams to decide what quality of life is worth living and what quality of life isn’t worth living. That is up to the patient and the family.

So, thank you, Smither, for writing in and you are mentioning here some families acquiesce to the doctor as well. You shouldn’t acquiesce to anyone. The only person you should acquiesce is your family and your critically ill loved one. That’s all that matters in a situation like that.

Because we get so many questions from families in intensive care, that’s why we have created a membership for families of critically ill patients in intensive care. You can become a member there if you go to intensivecarehotline.com, you click on the membership link or you go to intensivecaresupport.org directly. In the membership, you get access to me and my team, 24 hours a day, in the membership area and via email and we answer all questions, intensive care related.

In the membership, you also get exclusive access to 21 e-books and 21 videos that I have personally written and recorded for our members. I share all my experience in two and a half decades of intensive care nursing, making sure you make informed decisions, you have peace of mind, control, power, and influence, making sure your loved one gets the best care and treatment.

I also offer one-on-one consulting and advocacy over the phone, Skype Zoom WhatsApp, whichever medium works best for you. I talk to you and your families directly. I talk to doctors and nurses directly, once again, making sure you make informed decisions, you have peace of mind, control, power, and influence. When I talk to doctors and nurses directly, I ask all the questions that you haven’t even considered asking but must be asked when you have a loved one in intensive care, once again, making sure you make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power, influence, making sure your loved one gets best care and treatment. I also represent you in family meetings with intensive care teams.

We also offer medical record reviews in real time so that you can get a second opinion in real time. We also offer medical record reviews after intensive care if you have unanswered questions, if you need closure, or if you are suspecting medical negligence.

All of that, you get at intensivecarehotline.com. Call us on one of the numbers on the top of our website or simply send us an email to [email protected].

Also, if you like my videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel for regular updates for families in intensive care, click the like button, click the notification bell, comment below what you want to see next, what questions and insights you have, share the video with your friends and families.

I also do a weekly YouTube live where I answer your questions live on the show and you will get a notification for my YouTube live if you are a subscriber to my YouTube channel, or if you are a subscriber to our email newsletter at intensivecarehotline.com.

Thank you for watching.

This is Patrik Hutzel from intensivecarehotline.com and I will talk to you in a few days.

Take care for now.