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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
In last week’s blog I’ve shown you
You can read, watch or listen to last week’s update here.
In this week’s blog I want to show you
“HOW TO QUICKLY BECOME RESILIENT WHILST YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE!”
One of the biggest challenges if your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care is to manage yourself and your Family.
Very few experiences and events in life are as challenging and stressful as having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care.
It’s not only that you, your Family and your critically ill loved one feel challenged, stressed, frustrated, scared, overwhelmed, vulnerable and out of your comfort zone. It’s also that fear and the feeling that you have no control, no power and no influence about the event whatsoever.
It is therefore that you feel that you are absolutely powerless, that you have no control and that you are unable to influence any decision making whatsoever.
Not a good position to be in…
Especially since the Intensive Care team has all the perceived power and is driving the bus…
What often helps in a situation like this is to be resilient, because after all, you and your Family don’t know how long your loved one is remaining critically ill in Intensive Care and you don’t really know what’s around the corner so to speak.
Furthermore, it helps to be resilient if your critically ill loved one remains in Intensive Care for a long time or even worse, if your loved one is dying in Intensive Care.
Both situations, if your loved one remains critically ill in Intensive Care for longer than expected and if your loved one is approaching their end of life in Intensive Care are screaming for you to become resilient quickly. It’s one of those core skills that you must have in those challenging, frustrating and stressful situations.
Support for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care is hard to come by…
The unfortunate reality is that support for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care is literally non- existent!
Hospitals and Intensive Care Units tend to be so focused on the clinical things at hand and also on driving their agenda that they totally forget that it’s not only the Patients who suffer, but it’s the Families who suffer the most, because Families are at a loss of what to do and they are at a loss of what support is available to them, if any.
Therefore, your job is to become resilient quickly during this stressful and challenging time, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care, hands down!
And how exactly do you become resilient quickly during this stressful and challenging time?
You see, one of the biggest challenges that I have seen in more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing experience in three different countries is that Families of critically ill Patients are so overwhelmed and paralysed by having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care that they often don’t know right from wrong, they don’t know left from right and they are just simply at a loss of what to do. They are literally often running around like headless chickens…
Don’t get “stuck” in fear and frustration
Therefore, you and your Family need to have somebody who has walked in your shoes, show you what you need to do and how you can quickly become resilient, so that you have control, power and influence.
You see the Intensive Care team has built some resilience when dealing with critically ill Patients and their Families, because they have done it for a long time and they know how they can exercise power, control and influence over you.
And you may have already had a feeling or an impression of what that means and looks like for you and for your Family. The Intensive Care team is running the show and that feels and seems especially frustrating for you and for your Family if you don’t know what’s happening and if you don’t know what the next few days or even the next few hours have in stall for you, for your Family and for your critically ill loved one!
The Intensive Care team may have been very vague and they may not have been very good at communicating with you and with your Family about the exact things that are happening…
Part of what the Intensive Care team is doing is your own fault…
But what if I told you that part of that you don’t really understand of what’s happening and part of why the Intensive Care team isn’t properly communicating with you is your own fault?
What if I told you that part of why you feel powerless, with no control and without influence is your own fault?
You see in situations where one of your loved Family members is critically ill in Intensive Care, nobody generally is guiding you in the right direction and it’s therefore crucial that you take matters in your own hands and one of the crucial skills that you need to learn is to become resilient quickly!
Because let’s face it, if you are resilient nothing else matters really. It’s one of those golden skills and it’s one of those golden nuggets to have!
If you and if your Family are resilient, the Intensive Care team will notice and I bet your positive energy and your positive vibes will translate to your critically ill loved one as well! If you are resilient, it is much easier for you to have control, power and influence!
Part of becoming resilient quickly is to change your thinking and to change your body language!
Now if you have a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care, part of the issue that you and your Family are out of your comfort zone, challenged, frustrated and overwhelmed is that your brain has been hijacked by negative thinking, by fear, by frustration and by overwhelm! It is therefore that you can’t think clearly and it’s therefore easy for other people to run the show. And because your brain has been hijacked by fear, frustration, overwhelm and panic, it is therefore that you think you can’t have control, power and influence…
Learning the skills that put you in control of the situation
But the reality is that you can have control, power and influence if you are becoming resilient quickly as a starting point.
By becoming resilient quickly you need to change your thinking, you need to change your belief system and you need to change the dynamics between you and the Intensive Care team, because that skill will put you in charge of the situation!
And once you’ve achieved that, that’s when things start changing for you and for your Family. Once you’ve achieved that, that’s when you start having control, power and influence!
Resilience is inevitable and non-optional!
Look, if your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care and if he or she may be in Intensive Care for a long time to come or has been in Intensive Care for a long time already or if your critically ill loved one is dying in Intensive Care, resilience is inevitable and it’s not-optional.
So changing your thinking from the hijacked state of fear, overwhelm, frustration, panic and challenge to a state where you know that you can have control, power and influence is the starting point. And that goes hand in hand with your body language.
If your brain isn’t working properly and has been hijacked by fear, frustration, panic and overwhelm, chances are that your body language will show that as well. You may not walk straight and your body posture is poor. You may have your arms crossed most of the time, because you’re not ready to face reality as it is. Your body language wants to keep the negative things away and is close. But if you want to become resilient quickly, you need to change all of that!
Change your thinking to a positive state of mind
First let’s start with your thinking. Now that you know that your brain has been hijacked by negative thoughts and now that you know that it impacts negatively on your body language, now it’s time that you change it, because if you don’t, the reality is that it’s easy for the Intensive Care team to continue driving their agenda.
Especially, if your critically ill loved one is in a situation where you and your Family have no idea what is about to come or where the future is uncertain, you need to have control, power and influence! Furthermore, as I mentioned, in those uncertain and volatile situations, you and your Family need to counteract the Intensive Care team’s positioning.
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What the Intensive Care team is telling you is ALWAYS based on what’s happening “behind the scenes”
Listen, if your loved one is a long-term Patient in Intensive Care or is very unstable and/or critical or if the Intensive Care team has told you that your critically ill loved one is dying, you have no idea whether that’s true or not.
The Intensive Care team’s positioning is always based on the “moving parts” of an Intensive Care Unit and their positioning is always based on what’s happening “behind the scenes” in Intensive Care and more often than not their positioning is something you need to counteract with your positioning.
And you’d be very good at that if you and your Family are resilient and if your brain isn’t hijacked by negative thoughts triggered by fear, frustration and vulnerability. You are also resilient if your body language shows that resilience and positivity. Have an open posture, don’t cross your arms and show the Intensive Care team that you are ready to face this challenge!
How can you become resilient quickly and how can you leverage your level of power, influence and control whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care and how can you be in control of the situation?
You’ll get to that all important feeling of power, control and influence when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below! In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn QUICKLY how to get real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!
Your FREE ‘INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below!
In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 “killer” tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s “blog” and I’ll see you again in another update next week!
Make sure you also check out our “your questions answered” section for more tips and strategies or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
Also check out our Products section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 consulting!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!
Sincerely, your Friend
Patrik Hutzel
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