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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
In last week’s blog I’ve asked
and I shed some light on why it may not be perceived as “sexy” by the Intensive Care team to treat your critically ill loved one if they require a long-term stay in Intensive Care. You can read, watch or listen to last week’s update here.
In this week’s blog I want to show you
HOW TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS QUICKLY WHILST YOUR LOVED ONE IS CRITICALLY ILL IN INTENSIVE CARE AND WHY IT’S A SHORTCUT TO CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE!
Controlling your emotions can be a challenge especially in difficult, unpredictable and unforeseeable situations like having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care.
You see, having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care is not only a test to your emotional and mental well being, it’s also is a test for you and for your family to deal with your fears, frustrations, stress, vulnerability, overwhelm and struggle. Intensive Care is an unpredictable and volatile environment after all and by now you have probably discovered that the Intensive Care team is holding all the power, control and influence in this challenging situation.
You need to take responsibility to control your emotions and I’ll show you how to
Controlling your emotions quickly is therefore absolutely critical and if you have found that you have been struggling so far to manage and control your emotions since your loved has been admitted to Intensive Care for critical illness then you should continue reading, because I’ll explain to you why it’s so important that you take responsibility in controlling your emotions and also how you can control and manage your emotions in this unique, challenging and often “once in a lifetime” experience.
You see, from my experience after more than 15 years Intensive Care Nursing in three different countries, I have seen and learned that 99% of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care simply accept that losing your emotions, having your emotions overwhelm and control you and having the drama play havoc with your emotions is just the way it is. They also often think there is no better way…
Because they see and learn this irrational and unhealthy behaviour from other Family’s of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care. They see and feel that Families of critically ill Patients don’t cope very well and they consciously or unconsciously imitate this unhealthy and irrational behaviour. Not good…
Whilst in some instances the drama unfolds in front of their very eyes they get deeper and deeper into the emotional struggle…
Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are often so overwhelmed by the experience of having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care that they don’t know what to do, they don’t know left from right and they therefore don’t seek out for help!
In the meantime the Intensive Care team has taken over control, power and influence and whilst you and your family are busy struggling with your emotions that you can’t get a handle on, the Intensive Care team is busy pulling all the strings without your and your Family’s input…
These are the situations where it’s extremely important that you have a handle on your emotions!
Managing and controlling your emotions is especially important in situations where your critically ill loved one is either
- very unstable and in a very critical condition
- in a life threatening situation
They also tend to be the situations where Families of critically ill Patients are having their emotions run havoc…
But especially in those extremely challenging, difficult and volatile situations you need to have as much control, power and influence as possible, because if you don’t have control, power and influence and if you are still overwhelmed and controlled by your emotions, the Intensive Care team in the meantime has mapped out the game plan and has called the shots for you and for your critically ill loved one. And that game plan is most of the time driven by the things that are happening “behind the scenes” in Intensive Care and not by the clinical facts and realities. In fact it’s very rarely driven by the clinical facts and realities…
If you don’t learn quickly how to manage and control your emotions the Intensive Care team will call the shots without you…
You also need to know that the Intensive Care team knows and expects Families of critically ill Patients to be unable to manage their emotions and that’s exactly why the Intensive Care team has all the power, control and influence and that’s also why it’s so easy for the Intensive Care team to have the “behind the scenes” stuff dictate their positioning that often doesn’t reflect the clinical realities such as the diagnosis and prognosis of your critically ill loved one.
What do I mean by that and how is it playing out in reality?
You see, a lot of the things that happen in Intensive Care are intangible for you and your Family, because the wheels that are in motion are invisible for you and for your Family and the Intensive Care team makes sure that you don’t see any of it.
Imagine that if your critically ill loved one is in any of the situations that I mentioned before, if they are either
- very unstable and in a very critical condition
- in a life threatening situation
That’s pretty serious stuff and imagine you don’t know anything about the things that are happening “behind the scenes” and if you are unable to manage your emotions on top of that, it’s pretty bad news if you ask me… because the train will leave without you on board, so to speak and the Intensive Care team will have all the control, power and influence.
When a situation in Intensive Care is as bad as any of the situations that I mentioned above, the Intensive Care team can be very quick in painting a “doom and gloom” picture, telling you and your Family that a “withdrawal of treatment” or a “limitation of treatment” might be “in the best interest” of your critically ill loved one.
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Here’s what’s going on “behind the scenes” that you are unaware of…
What you don’t know is that the Intensive Care team is expecting five other admissions in the next 12 hours that are all competing for beds. What you also don’t know is that the Intensive Care team doesn’t have a strong interest in continuing treatment on your critically ill loved one because of the Intensive Care team having a bigger interest in
- Treating other Patients that are seen as financially viable
- Treating other Patients that may be enrolled in research studies and those research studies contribute to often 6, 7 or even 8- figure funding- so if your critically ill loved one doesn’t fall into a research category, the Intensive Care team may suggest to you and your Family that a “withdrawal or a limitation of treatment” might be in the “best interest” of your critically ill loved one, whereas in reality it’s “in the best interest” of the Intensive Care team
- Not treating your critically ill loved one, because the ICU may have a staffing crisis. Intensive Care staff, whether doctors or nurses are generally speaking in high demand and again they may be needed to treat other Patients that the Intensive Care team has a higher interest in treating!
Therefore you need to start taking control of your emotions quickly in order to have control, power and influence whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care, because you don’t want to have the Intensive Care team driving their agenda without you knowing and understanding what’s really happening…
So how do you do that? How can you take control of your emotions quickly, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
I’m glad you’ve asked…
So let’s look at how you and your Family can manage your emotions quickly whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care
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1. Take a step back and look at the situation from a “bird’s eye view”
Look, I understand that you are fully immersed in this difficult and challenging situation, however whilst you are caring and loving towards your critically ill loved one, your emotions have taken over your rational thinking and your rational brain. Therefore take a step back immediately and temporarily, remove your emotions from the situation for a minute and look at the situation from a “bird’s eye view”. What would a bird see flying above the Intensive Care Unit looking at your and your critically ill loved one’s situation? The bird would most likely see a distressed Family, controlled by their emotions, who can’t see what’s really happening and who can’t get a grip and a handle on the situation.
Therefore push your emotions aside temporarily NOW, get a grip on things and start asking the right questions. Do that and you will find that you will be moving in the right direction.
Don’t get me wrong here, your emotions as they relate to your critically ill loved one’s well being are a healthy sign and it shows you are loving, determined and committed to the cause, however you can’t allow your emotions run havoc and therefore have the Intensive Care team running the show…
2. Start managing the situation proactively and don’t be a passive bystander
You see 99% of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are overwhelmed and controlled by their emotions.
They are therefore passive bystanders of the situation and the Intensive Care team knows and expects that.
You need to start asking the right questions and assume control, power and influence. Once you have done that you will see the dynamics shift immediately.
You will find that the Intensive Care team is looking at you and your Family differently. But it’s not going to happen without you putting your emotions aside, look reality in the eye, assume control, power and influence, ask the right questions and ask for what you want, irrespective of what the Intensive Care team is telling you.
The reality is that if you don’t ask for what you want, you will never find out the real situation that your critically ill loved one is in, because after you have asked for what you want you will see how the Intensive Care team reacts. And most of the time the Intensive Care team is taken aback by Family’s asking for what they want. But you need to exactly do that and you need to be brave and bold!
How can you further leverage your level of power, influence and control whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care and how can you be in control of the situation?
You’ll get to that all important feeling of power, control and influence when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below! In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE ‘INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below!
In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
In your FREE reports you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 “killer” tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s “blog” and I’ll see you again in another update next week!
Make sure you also check out our “your questions answered” section where we answer your questions or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
Also check out our Products section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 consulting!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!
Sincerely, your Friend
Patrik Hutzel
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