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Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM, where we instantly improve the lives for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can make informed decisions, have peace of mind, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
In the last BLOG I talked about PART 2 of
You can check out last week’s BLOG by clicking on the link here.
In this week’s blog I want to share with you PART 3 of
The 7 things families do who make informed decisions have PEACE OF MIND, are in control, have power and have influence, whilst their loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! (PART 3)
Ok, welcome to another blog here at INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM. And once again, congratulations on taking action in getting informed and taking control!
Just by doing that you stand out from the rest of Families in Intensive Care and it will give you an edge when dealing with the challenges, difficulties and complexities in Intensive Care. Our blog as well as our “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” series will help you find your voice, will help you making informed decisions, get peace of mind, take control, have power and influence decision making in the jungle of complexities surrounding Intensive Care and it will more importantly help you to be in control, feel powerful and influence decision making.
In this week’s blog it’s PART 3
The 7 things families do who make informed decisions have PEACE OF MIND, are in control, have power and have influence, whilst their loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! (PART 3)
In the previous episodes I covered the first two points of “The 7 things families do who make informed decisions have PEACE OF MIND, are in control, have power and have influence, whilst their loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care!”
1)Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are facing reality and accept reality as it is
2)Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are sticking together, no matter what and they are not intimidated by the Intensive Care team!
Today I want to focus on the next point
3) Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are taking personal responsibility for the outcomes they want for their critically ill loved one!
This is another important one distinction between the 99% of families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who don’t get what they want and between the very few families(<1%) who actually do make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence!
As I have briefly mentioned in some of my other blogs, not being intimidated and not letting the “perceived power” and the “perceived authority” of the Intensive Care team dictate the dynamics and events is crucial for your level of making informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence!
Part of that feeling is that they perceive the nurses and the doctors in Intensive Care as people with “perceived authority” and with “perceived power”. Think again. It’s only perceived power and authority. It’s not even real. Therefore, you don’t need to feel intimidated by it, you can let go of that perception!
Related article/videos:
Most families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are intimated, fearful, overwhelmed and frustrated. They feel that they are out of their comfort zone and they feel that they have no or very little control, power and influence in the things that are happening around them.
Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence are not concerned with the Intensive Care team’s agenda. Instead they take personal responsibility for the outcomes for their critically ill loved one!
In fact, they have decided to control and master their critically ill loved one’s fate and destiny!
Related article/videos:
Many Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care think that because they don’t know much or they don’t know anything about Intensive Care or medicine in general that they need to “suck up” to the health professionals in Intensive Care. Because of that misguided and distorted thinking and because of that misguided and distorted perception, a lot of Families consciously or unconsciously are handing out and giving away their power on a “platter”.
Don’t “suck up” to the Intensive Care team and start taking personal responsibility for the outcomes that you want!
The Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence decision making, are the ones who are not intimated and who don’t “suck up” to the Doctors and Nurses in Intensive Care. Usually those Families have one thing in common. They are all very good at taking personal responsibility for the outcomes that they want!
And it doesn’t matter what their background is. Those Families come from all walks of life. It doesn’t matter what their background or their level of education is. They just don’t simply “suck up” to people, period and they take personal responsibility for the outcomes that they want, period!
And you and your Family need to stop “sucking up” to the doctors and to the nurses too. You might be doing it consciously or unconsciously. A lot of people do it consciously and they think it will bring them bargaining power in their situation. Nothing could be further from the truth. As I have said, if you “suck up” to the doctors and to the nurses in Intensive Care and if you put them on a pedestal, because you think you can gain influence, you are on the wrong path.
Just because the health professionals in Intensive Care happen to be doctors and nurses working there, doesn’t make them super human or doesn’t make them smarter than other people.
Think about it, despite being health professionals in Intensive Care, they are also regular people outside of their work environment with their own personal lives and their own personal issues. So from now on, stop “sucking up” to the Intensive Care team, stop putting them on a pedestal and start treating them as equals and start taking personal responsibility for the outcomes that you want for your critically ill loved one!
Yes, you have heard me saying that correctly. Stop “sucking up” to them, stop putting them on a pedestal and start treating them and start taking personal responsibility for the outcomes that you want, need and deserve!
Start taking personal responsibility for your critically ill loved one’s fate and destiny!
Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who make informed decisions, have peace of mind, have control, power and influence the situation do this consciously or unconsciously and the fact of the matter is that they do it, regardless of why they are doing it and it generally works well for them.
My best clients that take up my 1:1 counselling, consulting and advocacy service are the ones who have already made a conscious decision that they will not take “no” for an answer from the Intensive Care team for the things that they want for their critically ill loved one!
They also realize that Intensive Care is a very volatile, very dynamic and highly political environment and they realize and understand that the Intensive Care team is only telling them half of the truth and half of the story that they need to know.
Therefore, those families start to do their own research and they get professional help at INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM
Once you start to realize that the things that are happening “BEHIND THE SCENES” in Intensive Care are very powerful, you realize very
Become a master of taking personal responsibility of your critically ill loved one’s fate and destiny!
Recommended:
The families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power and influence are the masters of managing their relationships within this difficult, challenging and unique situation and environment, even though they don’t have the “perceived power” or “perceived status” of a doctor or a nurse!
And you can do it too. You just need to make the conscious decision that this is what you are going to do!
I can tell you from experience that the minute you and your Family feel intimidated by the “perceived power” and the “perceived status” of a doctor or nurse in Intensive Care, you are giving away all of your power, influence, control and status!
Not only are you putting you, your Family and your critically ill loved one in a difficult situation, you are also diminishing your level of control, your level of power and your level of influence! You are starting off on the wrong foot altogether and you are almost putting yourself, your Family and even your critically ill loved one in a corner from the very start, that you will have difficulties to get out of!
By sucking up to the doctors and the nurses in Intensive Care and by putting them on a pedestal, you are adding on another layer of issues that you and your Family need to deal with.
Just start communicating with them differently and act differently!
The alternative is easy and a lot better. Just make sure that you have high expectations from the very start and make sure that you expect only the best for your critically ill loved one!
See yourself and your family as equals in the situation. And that is what you are. After all, it is your loved one who is critically ill in Intensive Care and not the doctors and the nurses loved one.
Do not and never copy the behaviour of the 99% of the families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who are intimidated by the Intensive Care team’s “perceived power” and “perceived authority”. If you are you are doomed!
I can’t tell you how many family enquiries we get at INTENSIVE CARE HOTLINE where their family member died in Intensive Care and after it is too late they do their research and then they find our website and the case studies and they realize that help would have been at hand. Instead they believed everything the Intensive Care team was telling them only to find that the Intensive Care team had a “hidden agenda”!
You might say, “but Patrik, how can I treat them as equals and as my friends? I don’t think that I’m as smart, as influential and as powerful as a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care is?”
Wrong path and wrong thinking altogether, so turn back. Your most important asset in this situation is your thinking, your determination and your perception about the situation. Your thinking, the determination and your perception of the situation has a lot of influence into the outcome of the situation and it is most often the only thing you can control!
Therefore, make sure you take personal responsibility of the outcomes that you want, need and deserve for your critically ill loved one and don’t let anything interfere with that determination!
Take charge of your critically ill loved one’s fate and destiny!
It makes all the difference if you don’t feel intimidated by the Intensive Care team and if you don’t “suck up” to them!
Make sure you get professional help doing it and make sure you get my 1:1 counselling, consulting and advocacy service!
Not taking personal responsibility, not doing your own research and not taking charge of the situation would be futile and it won’t serve your critically ill loved one and your family, period!
I can’t stress this enough, 99% of families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care don’t make informed decisions, they don’t have peace of mind, control, power or influence!
Therefore you need to behave very different from the very start and you need to become “difficult and demanding” instead!
Related article/video:
And you need to show it with every ounce of your behaviour that you are determined to get the outcomes for your critically ill loved one that you want, need and deserve.
Show it in your communication, in your body language and in your unwavering believe that you are in control of the outcomes and not the Intensive Care team!
How?
I’m glad you asked.
Again, the best clients I normally work with are the ones who take personal responsibility the outcomes they are going to get for their critically ill loved one. They then start doing their own research and they seek professional support through counselling, consulting and advocacy.
The more personal responsibility you and your family take, the more you and your family understand that you are the master of your critically ill loved one’s fate and destiny the better the outcomes you’ll get period! Expect anything less and the Intensive Care team will notice and sell you short without you realizing that it’s happening!
4)Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care know what they want for their critically ill loved one
This is another big point and another point that clearly separates Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who make informed decisions, have peace of mind, control, power and who influence, from Families who don’t have control, power and influence if their loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care.
And once again, knowing what you and your Family want for your critically ill loved one doesn’t come down to knowing the specifics about Intensive Care or about medicine. It comes down to common sense and to your and your Family’s uniqueness.
Of course, you want the best treatment and the best outcome for your critically ill loved one in Intensive Care.
You and your Family want everything to be done for your critically ill loved one, so that he or she can fully recover. You and your Family have no doubt and no questions in your mind how “the best possible outcome” can be achieved, after you have been informed by the Intensive Care team and after you have done your own independent research on INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM’s website.
You are bracing for setbacks in an unpredictable and volatile environment
Of course you and your Family are bracing yourself for setbacks, because you and your Family know by now that Intensive Care can be an unpredictable and volatile environment. You also know and understand the importance of unity within your Family during times of crisis, despite issues and despite difficult Family dynamics.
You and your Family know and understand that steering the course towards a good outcome and a good recovery for your critically ill loved in Intensive Care is dependent on your Families’ cohesiveness and on your Families’ ability to speak with one voice and not have Family dynamics and Family issues run the show.
But if you have read this far and if you have come so far, you also know that “the best” sometimes means cutting your losses and accept the reality that you, your Family and your critically ill loved one are dealing with.
Let’s say you have come to the point that you and your Family know that your critically ill loved one is not going to fully recover and that your loved one might end up with a limited Quality of Life in the future, you also know that if this is the case that you and your Family need to brace yourself for the future steps that you need to take, in order to deal effectively with this new situation.
You may already know what steps you need to take. If you don’t know what steps to take as yet, you probably have started thinking about it and you probably have the things in mind, what you and your Family think is best for your critically ill loved one. Keep that vision alive and keep holding on to that vision. Staying positive is half of the battle.
You also know that you, your Family and your critically ill loved one can deal with setbacks this situation is throwing at you and you also know that such is life and what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
Having the ability to let go
Knowing what you and your Family want for your critically ill loved one in Intensive Care sometimes also means that you and your Family need to be able to let go. You need to be able to let go when you feel like things are not going as planned and when you feel like things are getting out of hand.
I know that this is easier said than done, especially when the gravity of the situation demands that you and your Family confront the possible loss of your critically ill loved one.
As I have said before, coming clear with a situation and accepting reality as it is, is very challenging and it is usually the only way to move forward.
But before you even contemplate that your loved one may die, you need to find out if there are no other options.
Have a look at these article/videos
Once you have accepted that your critically ill loved one in Intensive care is not going to survive or not going to fully recover, you can then, once again, take further steps to accept the critical situation or the end of life situation and also focus on the things you can and want to control in either situation.
It is very important that you have input in any situation so that you and your family have peace of mind in such difficult, tragic and challenging circumstances.
You and your Family know your loved one best
Once again, if you and your Family know what you want for your critically ill loved one in any situation, including an end of life situation and you are clear and specific about it, you will have control, power and influence in the situation and you are not dependent on the Intensive Care team’s decisions.
You and your Family know your critically ill loved one best and you also know your Family best. How would you, your Family and your critically ill loved one like this critical situation or an end of life situation to look like? What are your cultural, religious, spiritual or your individual needs? How much time do you have? Do you only have a few hours? Do you have a few days? Do you have weeks or months? Is there a possibility for your critically ill loved one to go home?
Once again, the minute you and your Family know what you want, that’s the minute when you start controlling your destiny in whatever specific or particular situation you are in. Never be afraid to take a stand and make your views heard. Never think that just because you are dealing with Intensive Care health professionals who have been involved in many critical situations and in many end of life situations that they know “what’s best” for your critically ill loved one. The people who know best are you and your Family, because you know your loved one inside out! Don’t let anybody else tell you otherwise!
Make sure you have peace of mind
To give you some specifics, you might want to think about addressing your critically ill loved one’s individual, cultural, religious or spiritual needs during an end of life situation. Are there any people that you would like to come and see your critically ill loved one before he or she is passing away?
Think about it. The clearer you and your Family are, the more control, power and influence you have and more importantly, you feel like you have done the best you could and you will have peace of mind. This is very important, because if you don’t take charge, if you don’t take control and if you don’t know what you want, those situations might leave a bitter taste for you and for your Family and you might feel remorseful.
So look out for PART 4 of “The 7 things families do who make informed decisions have PEACE OF MIND, are in control, have power and have influence, whilst their loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care (PART 4)” it’ll be there for you next week!
Your friend
Patrik Hutzel
How can you become the best advocate for your critically ill loved one, make informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence quickly, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
You get to that all important feeling of making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below!
In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to make informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below!
In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 mind blowing tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care (it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s BLOG and I’ll see you again in another update next week!
Make sure you also check out our “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” section where I answer your questions or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
Or you can call us! Find phone numbers on our contact tab.
Also check out our Ebook section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 counselling with me via Skype or over the phone and via email by clicking on the email and phone counselling tabs on the top of the website!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update.