HOW WILL I KNOW THAT THE INTENSIVE CARE TEAM ARE MAKING THE RIGHT DECISIONS WHEN THEY SAY THAT MY CRITICALLY ILL LOVED ONE IS DYING?

Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we INSTANTLY improve the lives of Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can have PEACE OF MIND, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making FAST, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!

This is another episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” and in last week’s episode I answered another question from our readers and the question last week was

“WHAT ARE THE RISKS AND BENEFITS OF A TRACHEOSTOMY?”

You can check out the answer to last week’s question by clicking on the link here.

In this week’s episode of “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” I want to answer another question that our readers ask quite frequently and the question this week is

”HOW WILL I KNOW THAT THE INTENSIVE CARE TEAM ARE MAKING THE RIGHT DECISIONS WHEN THEY SAY THAT MY CRITICALLY ILL LOVED ONE IS DYING?”

Today I want to address another hot topic that Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are constantly asking via our website INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM

And it’s a topic where the Intensive Care team can be very guarded or secretive and they can be poor communicators around the topic.

And I have also seen far too many families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care simply not knowing what to do, they don’t know what questions they need to ask and worst of all they simply don’t get enough moral and practical support from either the Intensive Care team or from people within the health system when their critically ill loved one is in a real or perceived end of life situation.

Looking death in the eyes!

Furthermore, death, dying and end of life are not “sexy” topics, not for anyone and that includes the Intensive Care team as well. It takes a lot of guts and balls to face reality, to face death, dying and end of life head on.

Death, dying and end of life are not topics that our society wants to know about either, especially not in a culture that is filled with images and perceptions about youth and vitality etc…

Facing death, dying and end of life is a massive challenge it means we have to face our own mortality and it means we literally have to stare death in the eye so to speak.

And only after you know, understand, acknowledge and embrace that inevitably we are all going to die sooner or later, that’s when you can move forward when you’re dealing with a real end of life situation or a perceived end of life situation of your critically ill loved one in Intensive Care.

If you face head on that the death of one of your loved one’s in Intensive Care might be a reality and/or possibility that’s when you will get clarity and as a result you will have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence!

The fact of the matter is that it’s challenging for Intensive Care teams as well to stare death in the eye!

And even though Intensive Care teams are dealing frequently with death, dying and end of life doesn’t mean that they are any good at it.

In fact, from my experience in more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing experience in three different countries, where I have literally worked with THOUSANDS of critically ill Patients and their Families it’s frequently the combination of both, Intensive Care teams as well as the Families not wanting to stare death in the eyes that can make those challenging, dramatic, frustrating and often heartbreaking death and end of life situations messy and turn into a nightmare!

It’s the same for Intensive Care teams, dealing with death, dying and end of life means that Intensive Care teams are facing their own mortality too! And again the more people have come to terms with the fact that we are all going to die one day, the better and the more mature they can deal with death and end of life situations!

The better they can deal with this situation the better they can communicate with you and the better they can support you, your family and your critically ill loved one during this stressful, challenging and traumatic “ONCE IN A LIFETIME” situation!

But the unfortunate reality is also that you can’t rely on Intensive Care teams to manage death, dying and end of life situations well and you need to take responsibility if you want the results and most of all if you want to have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence!

Are you dealing with a real or perceived end of life situation?

So what do I mean when I talk about real or perceived end of life situation?

A real end of life situation is a situation where your critically ill loved one is inevitably going to die no matter what interventions, treatments and therapies are offered. Usually in real end of life

Examples for real end of life situations can be severe accidents with severe bleeding, multiple fractures, severe head injuries and also situations where your critically ill loved one might be septic or otherwise so unstable from a haemodynamic point of view(=low blood pressure and/or irregular heart rhythms) where no life support, no fancy equipment, no surgery, no drugs, no medications and no other intervention can save your critically ill loved one’s life!

Examples for perceived end of life situations are situations where your critically ill loved one is in a situation where the Intensive Care team thinks that a “withdrawal of life support” or a “withdrawal of treatment” might be “IN THE BEST INTEREST” of your critically ill loved one!

Those are situations where your critically ill loved one might be on life support such as ventilation, inotropes(= intravenous medication to support low blood pressure) or ECMO and they may have other medical issues such as the possibility of brain damage, or they may have a weak heart, damaged lungs etc…

There are countless situations that could lead to a perceived end of life situation!

The reality and the truth of the matter is that the characteristics of a perceived end of life situation are exactly that, they are perceived and they are not even real.

But how can you tell the difference and how can you make sure that you have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence?

You can tell the difference by the Intensive Care team trying to tell you that it’s “IN THE BEST INTEREST” of your critically ill loved one to either “stop”, “limit” or “withdraw treatment”!

You can tell the difference that whenever the Intensive Care team is hinting at something hypothetical such as the “perceived future quality of life” of your critically ill loved one if they were to survive their stay in Intensive Care!

Are you dealing with perception or reality?

Again they are talking about a perception of a future event and not reality.

And let’s face it, Intensive Care teams are the experts when it comes to treating critical illness in Intensive Care, however they are not the experts when it comes to how a Patient’s quality of life looks like after their stay in Intensive Care!

The fact of the matter is that as soon as Patients leave Intensive Care the Intensive Care team has no idea what a formerly critically ill Patient’s life looks like in six months time!

And again your job is to know what you want, know your critically ill loved one, know your family and also know what outcomes that you want and then relentlessly pursue it.

The truth of the matter is that whenever the Intensive Care team is suggesting a “withdrawal of treatment” or a “limitation of life support” as being “IN THE BEST INTEREST” of your critically ill loved one you need to know and understand that this positioning is often a direct result of what’s happening “BEHIND THE SCENES” in Intensive Care!

Recommended resource:

THE 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF THE MEDICAL TEAM IN INTENSIVE CARE WANTS TO “LIMIT TREATMENT”, WANTS TO “WITHDRAW TREATMENT” OR “WITHDRAW LIFE SUPPORT” OR WANTS TO ISSUE A “DNR” (DO NOT RESUSCITATE) OR AN “NFR” (NOT FOR RESUSCITATION) ORDER FOR YOUR CRITICALLY ILL LOVED ONE!

Whenever the Intensive Care team is talking about a “withdrawal of treatment” or a “limitation of life support” as being “IN THE BEST INTEREST” of your critically ill loved one your alarm bells need to go off and you need to be on high alert!

The 99% of families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who have no PEACE OF MIND, no control, no power and no influence take everything for “face value” the Intensive Care team is telling them and they don’t look “BEHIND THE SCENES”, they don’t question and they don’t do their own research!

Your job is to know that whenever the Intensive Care team is painting a “doom and gloom” picture and whenever they are talking about their perception of a “withdrawal of treatment” or a “limitation of life support” as being “IN THE BEST INTEREST” of your critically ill loved one it often is a direct result of the interests of the Intensive Care teams such as

The financial interests of the Intensive Care team. I.e. will they meet their budget targets when they continue treating your critically ill loved one or do they think that they won’t be meeting their budget targets if they continue treating your critically ill loved one

The bed management pressures of an Intensive Care Unit. I.e. does the Intensive Care team experience pressure on their expensive, precious, scarce and “in-demand” Intensive Care beds and do they want to give preference to other critically ill Patients needing an ICU bed?

The medical research interests of the Intensive Care team. Medical research is a Multi- Billion Dollar $$$ per year revenue generator for Intensive Care Units and a positioning tool. The medical research interests of Intensive Care Units are massive and quite frequently impact on the positioning of your critically ill loved one’s diagnosis and prognosis by the Intensive Care team. I.e. Does the Intensive Care team suggest to “withdraw life support” because they can’t perform medical research on your critically ill loved one? Or does the Intensive Care team tell you that your loved one has a good chance of survival because they are enrolled in a medical research study, where the Intensive Care team performs medical research despite your critically ill loved one’s poor prognosis?

Also, is the Intensive Care team not prepared to invest their emotional resources to continue treating your critically ill loved one? Is the Intensive Care team very academic, are they talking in medical jargon that you don’t understand and are they detached from empathy and compassion? Do they even have a limited mindset and they don’t believe that they can save your critically ill loved one’s life? Are they overtly negative?

Related articles:

What the doctors and the nurses behaviour in Intensive Care is telling you about the culture in a unit

Why you must make up your own mind about your critically ill loved one’s situation in Intensive Care even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse!

No matter the situation you and your family are facing you absolutely must make up your own mind and you must listen to your gut and to your intuition, because your gut never lies.

It’s also absolutely critical that you do your own research and it’s first and foremost that you have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence, irrespective of what the Intensive Care team is telling you!

How do you do that and how can you have PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?

You get to that all important feeling of PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below! In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below! In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care! In your FREE report you’ll also discover

How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
5 “killer” tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)

Thank you for tuning into this week’s “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” and I’ll see you again in another update next week! Make sure you also check out our BLOG section for more tips and strategies or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!

Also check out our Products section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 consulting!

This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!