Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS
Hi, it’s Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM , where we instantly improve the lives for Families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, so that you can make informed decisions, have peace of mind, real power, real control and so that you can influence decision making fast, even if you’re not a doctor or a nurse in Intensive Care!
In the last blog I talked about
Thank You For Your Service Of Compassion!
You can check out the last blog by clicking on the link here.
In this week’s blog I want to talk about
10 signs the Intensive Care team is not genuinely interested in your critically ill loved one and you!(PART 1)
Before I get into today’s topic I want to share a quote with you that I wrote on today’s topic and the quote says
Most families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care when first confronted with this “once in a lifetime” experience of having a loved one critically ill in Intensive Care have no idea and are absolutely clueless when dealing with the Intensive Care team!
They often don’t have the hint of an idea what to look for if they and their critically ill loved one are in the right hands and if they can trust and feel safe to put the life and health of their critically ill loved one in the hands of strangers.
The fact of the matter is that whenever Intensive Care treatment is required for a critically ill Patient, the machinery that is Intensive Care is set in motion that you and your family are absolutely clueless about!
Intensive Care, the politics, the hierarchies, the competition for limited resources, the psychology, the dynamics and the intrigue tend to be so powerful that if you and your family don’t have the right advice at hands that you will keep struggling making informed decisions, getting peace of mind , control, power and influence!
If you and your family do have the right insights, the right advice and the right guidance, making informed decisions, getting peace of mind, control, power and influence will be easy and effortless because you can quickly see the cracks in the Intensive Care system and use those insights to your advantage.
If on the other hand you do and copy the behaviour of 99% of the families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care, you will stand no chance and you won’t be able to make informed decisions, get peace of mind, control, power and influence!
So let’s get into today’s topic.
Over the last few days I have been working with a family who has been in dire straits.
A family contacted me last week after their Dad in their early fifties had a cardiac arrest and had to be admitted to Intensive Care!
When the family first contacted me I was absolutely shocked to hear their story. The Intensive Care team wanted to “withdraw treatment” as quickly as possible because they thought that it was “in the best interest” of my Client’s critically ill loved one!
Now this is not a new situation for me at all, I have seen and witnessed similar situations over and over again in my clinical practice, as well as in my counselling and consulting practice here at INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM!
I knew what to do and I knew how we needed to position my Client’s family member to get the outcomes that we wanted and I will share more of this story in the “your questions answered” section in due course.
However the bottom line to me was that the Intensive Care team was not in the slightest concerned about my Clients wishes for their father and their son.
Again, this is something that I deal with almost on a daily basis here at INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I have seen it over and over again in more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries where I literally worked with thousands of critically ill Patients and their families!
I have also worked as a Nurse Unit Manager in Intensive Care for more than five years and I have learned and seen enough during my time in Intensive Care to know the workings of this extremely challenging, dynamic and volatile environment!
I have also seen that often Intensive Care teams are just not interested in you and your critically ill loved one, because their mainly “hidden agenda” is way too powerful to put your concerns at the top of the agenda!
There are also clear signs and indicators that the Intensive Care team isn’t genuinely interested in you and your family that I have picked up on in more than 15 years Intensive Care nursing in three different countries and also while counselling and consulting families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care here at INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM
And before I dive into the 10 signs the Intensive Care team is not genuinely interested in your critically ill loved one and you!(PART 1)
I just need to be clear and specific that I’m not talking about a “soft” admission into Intensive Care where your critically ill loved one may need ICU for a day or two, I’m talking about extremely difficult and challenging situations where your critically ill loved one is
Therefore let’s dive into
the 10 signs the Intensive Care team is not genuinely interested in your critically ill loved one and you!(PART 1)
1) The Intensive Care team is talking over you and at you but doesn’t engage in a dialogue
This is a clear indicator that the Intensive Care team has a superiority complex! They think because they are doctors and have academic titles that they “know what’s best” in all circumstances!
Rather than engaging in a dialogue and making sure that you and your family are heard and making sure that you and your family are feeling safe during this scary and threatening experience, they keep telling you that they are the “experts”!
They may well be the “experts” in Intensive Care, however they are more often than not the experts when it comes to your critically ill loved one’s personality!
For example, when it comes to dealing with adversity like a severe critical illness, you and your family are the experts on how your loved one is dealing with adversity and challenge!
Trust your gut and intuition on this one!
- The Intensive Care team uses their perceived status, their “perceived power” and their “perceived authority” as a leverage tool
Last week I was sitting in a family meeting in Intensive Care to advocate for my client’s critically ill loved one, where the Intensive Care team wanted to “withdraw treatment” as being “in the best interest” for my client’s critically ill loved one!
When I was questioning their argumentation and when I was questioning them breaking some rules and even their own hospital policies, one of the doctors was telling me that “they are the doctors” and that “they” make the decisions.
A pretty powerful statement, if you think about it.
The only weakness in this statement was that it was their only reasoning and when this particular doctor said that, the dynamics in the meeting shifted immediately into my Client’s favour.
It was a clear sign that they had no interest in looking after the well-being of my client and their critically ill loved one!
The only argument they had left after I was asking all the right questions was that “they are the doctors and they are making the decisions”!
By doing that they weren’t doing them any favours, however my client got what they wanted and their critically ill loved one had their treatment limitations removed!
Related:
- The Intensive Care team is putting unduly pressure on you and your family to agree to certain things!
Again, just as I have said in the beginning and as I have said over and over again, Intensive Care teams have agendas that can go way beyond your critically ill loved one’s prognosis, diagnosis, as well as their care and treatment!
Especially if you and your family feel pressured to agree to treatment limitations, a withdrawal of treatment, an NFR(Not for resuscitation) or a DNR(Do not resuscitate) order, chances are pretty high that the Intensive Care team
- Doesn’t want to spend any more money and other resources on your critically ill loved one
- May need the bed for the next Patient
- Doesn’t feel like you and your family will be able to challenge their decisions because they see you like the 99% of the families of critically ill Patients in Intensive Care who make no informed decisions, have no peace of mind, no power, no control and no influence
- The Intensive Care team doesn’t ask you and your family about your critically ill loved one’s life, their personality, their interests or passions!
Most critically ill Patients that I looked after in Intensive Care have been in an induced coma and they weren’t able to talk. Most critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are in an induced coma at some stage during their stay in Intensive Care!
That gives every health professional in Intensive Care are very distorted view of a Patient and it doesn’t reflect reality. Critically ill Patients in Intensive Care are real people with real lives, real families, real jobs, businesses etc…
Therefore critically ill Patients and their families can’t be reduced to an admission diagnosis, a prognosis and treatment!
They are real people!
However in reality, Intensive Care teams tend to reduce their Patients to a diagnosis rather than a real person.
Therefore watch out how the Intensive Care team is talking about your critically ill loved one! Are they talking about your loved one in medical terms only or are they talking about your critically ill loved one like they are a real person?
Related:
The more they take the life of your critically ill loved one into consideration outside of Intensive Care, the higher chances that they are genuinely interested in your critically ill loved one!
The more they speak about your loved one in medical terms and in medical jargon, the less likely they are to be genuinely interested in you, your family and your critically ill loved one!
This leads me to the next point
- The Intensive Care team is using medical jargon when speaking to you and they are hiding behind medical language that is difficult for you to understand!
The more the Intensive Care team is using medical jargon and medical language when communicating with you and your family, the higher chances are that they are using this to distance themselves from you and your family!
They have no interest in speaking a language that you and your family can understand and interpret!
They much rather want to keep you and your family at “arm’s length” so to speak by overwhelming you with medical talk, further cementing their status as “perceived power” and “perceived authority”!
If they are genuinely interested in you and your family, they will take the time to explain things to you in a language that is easy to understand!
Thankfully you have come to a place where we speak a language that you and your family can understand and we break the things down for you in Intensive Care so that you can get a very quick handle on what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
Check out Part 2 of
10 signs the Intensive Care team is not genuinely interested in your critically ill loved one and you!(PART 2) (click on the link)
Your friend
Patrik Hutzel
How can you become the best advocate for your critically ill loved one, make informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence quickly, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care?
You get to that all important feeling of making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, CONTROL, POWER AND INFLUENCE when you download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report NOW by entering your email below!
In Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” report you’ll learn quickly how to make informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, real power and real control and how you can influence decision making fast, whilst your loved one is critically ill in Intensive Care! Your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” Report gives you in-depth insight that you must know whilst your loved one is critically ill or is even dying in Intensive Care! Sign up and download your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT now by entering your email below!
In your FREE “INSTANT IMPACT” REPORT you’ll learn how to speak the “secret” Intensive Care language so that the doctors and the nurses know straight away that you are an insider and that you know and understand what’s really happening in Intensive Care!
In your FREE report you’ll also discover
- How to ask the doctors and the nurses the right questions
- Discover the many competing interests in Intensive Care and how your critically ill loved one’s treatment may depend on those competing interests
- How to eliminate fear, frustration, stress, struggle and vulnerability even if your loved one is dying
- 5 mind blowing tips& strategies helping you to get on the right path to making informed decisions, get PEACE OF MIND, control, power and influence in your situation
- You’ll get real world examples that you can easily adapt to your and your critically ill loved one’s situation
- How to stop being intimidated by the Intensive Care team and how you will be seen as equals
- You’ll get crucial ‘behind the scenes’ insight so that you know and understand what is really happening in Intensive Care
- How you need to manage doctors and nurses in Intensive Care(it’s not what you think)
Thank you for tuning into this week’s BLOG and I’ll see you again in another update next week!
Make sure you also check out our “YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED” section where I answer your questions or send me an email to [email protected] with your questions!
Or you can call us! Find phone numbers on our contact tab.
Also check out our Ebook section where you get more Ebooks, Videos and Audio recordings and where you can also get 1:1 counselling with me via Skype or over the phone and via email by clicking on the email and phone counselling tabs on the top of the website!
This is Patrik Hutzel from INTENSIVECAREHOTLINE.COM and I’ll see you again next week with another update!